Out of all the major sports that dominate the globe, soccer is the only one that refuses to use video replay. How many times have fans witnessed time and time again, calls go the wrong way and the video replay available for the entire world to see over, and over, and over. There are too many occasions where calls by soccer referees are so horribly wrong and the consequences much too high. Why should any team, in the right, be punished for a mistake that could be easily reversed with a simple review? After a quick internet search, arguments against can be summed up to the fact it slows the game and because a referee is human, errors are expected, and therefore fair to cope with. What horseshit. Without even considering all the club teams around the world, international play suffers the worst from this absurdity. Countries waiting four years between World Cups have been screwed over time and time again because of FIFA’s refusal to enter the 21st century. Here’s a blatant fact: people are killed or injured over the happenings within soccer games more than any other sport on the planet. A clear passion like that over results, more than justifies the progression to video technology within a soccer match’s governing bodies. If game speed is the question, do as ice hockey does –a sport with one of the most sophisticated video replay systems in existence- and have a designated group of people at every match ready to review goals; in the Olympics, the IIHF made a rule that all goals are automatically reviewed just to be safe. Furthermore, the pressure placed on three on-field referees (sometimes accompanied by a fourth on the sidelines) is too much to ask of any group of people no matter the extent of their experience with the game. It is a fact that erroneous calls made by referees have laid claim to some of their lives and careers; the implementation of video replay correction would be a sure way to improve their chances of avoiding this. In the end, FIFA is not simply fighting a small group of people who want to see their game evolve and become more efficient; further internet research reveals that the majority of people agree that soccer needs to update how games are managed and video replay is that next major step. We may not get to the diving issue yet, but FIFA is easily within its power to stop the effects of missed calls in top-flight soccer the world entirely. Hey, FIFA, figure it out.
Begrudgingly waiting for another team to be screwed over (because we all know it’s just a matter of time),
Matias M. Barchman
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Talking it out: The Art of Friendship Negotiation
All of us have friends we count on, admire, relate with and even fight with. I believe friendships gone awry by unresolved arguments and petty differences are some of the most preventative occurrences people have occur in their lives. Don’t worry all you friends of mine out there, this entry is not about anyone in particular; to be honest, the motivation for this post came from how impressed I was after a friend and I got into a heated argument that could have been potentially “friendship-threatening” but ended with us caring no less or more for each other than beforehand. What it came down to was our ability to “talk it out” - our ability to sit down, yell and scream our heads off if need be, yet come to a compromised agreement. In my social circle, it seems that this is often not the case for whatever reason and it is a shame to see the results of a standoff driven by pride of opinion.
I am an opinionated person and take pride in being argumentative. Growing up there were a lot of fights about who was right between my friends and I; some battles I won, some I lost, even if I refused to believe it. However, after a lengthy post-secondary career in college and university, I came to appreciate the results of open-minded debate especially when it came to the preservation of friendship. Here is a break down of what I think the keys are for verbally fighting with friends and coming out with your friendship intact:
Firstly, step up and talk about the issue. Usually the make or break of resolving any personal issue with someone is taking the initiative to talk about it in the first place. I would argue for the most part that people are anti-confrontational and unfortunately this could be a hindrance in beginning the restorative process. Furthermore, relax as best you can because no good resolution ever came of an argument on the brink of fists being thrown. Sit down and breathe. Its time to talk it out.
At the forefront: respect. You are not talking to make things worse or attack integrity; you are trying to come to a compromise. In the end, there should not be any “winners” or “losers”; consensus is what counts. Additionally, remember you are friends to begin with and for a reason, so even if your counterpart is telling you something that you think is completely asinine, keep in mind that this person is still your buddy (for the most part anyway) and listen to what they have to say.
Next, get it all out there. Like any good debate, throw out exactly what your issue is and do not “beat around the bush”. One has to be completely honest with precisely what it is they have a problem with because that is the only way everyone involved will ever be able to come to terms with it. Furthermore, as friends, people need to be honest with each other and that is what good friends do: they trust that they will not be personally ridiculed because of something they believe. Sure they can be disagreed with, prodded, made fun of, laughed at, etc. but in the end, if it is something they have strong feelings for, no one is going to change that so it should be accepted. You may be friends but you are not the same person.
Subsequently, take turns and listen. This was one of my biggest problems. Whatever your friend(s) have to say, let them say it and do not interrupt until they are finished (you may have to ask, but make sure they are finished their point). If need be, make the point-counterpoint discussion that rudimentary and it will be hard to go wrong. Jumping the gun and attacking a point before the person even has a chance to finish only leads to tangents and more time wasted momentarily hating each other.
Speaking of tangents, stay on topic. Disputes between friends often lead to a regurgitation of arguments past and opening up old wounds. Unless the subject matter is completely relevant and you can keep it brief, keep the main issue the priority and at the forefront; bringing up something that was supposed to be resolved and forgotten or starting to argue about the minor details does not get the pressing issue settled. At times, the little stuff has to be left at an “agree to disagree” in order to keep things moving along and tightening the gap towards a solution.
Most importantly, understand that all parties are probably not going to get the result they were looking for. Look, you are clearly up in arms over something that is hard to be, or will never be, completely agreed upon. Why else would a quarrel become so heated? However, for the sake of your friendship and sanity, COMPRIMISE. I am not sure how many times I have had to beat this notion into my brain and I can tell you that this is probably the hardest part to accept. However, I can also say that I have been the most happy when all parties go away satisfied and everyone can still call themselves friends.
To conclude, this may seem like an overly simple solution to handling a hot issue you and your friends are debating over but frankly, most issues do not get resolved because the preliminary step is never taken to begin with; that is, talking about it in the first place. Silence is the ultimate killer between disputing friends and an abundance of time will not help when you basically have to start where you left off. Its time we as a people start resolving our personal issues we have with each other, especially if it is relatively small in the entire scheme of things. Comraderie and friendship are invaluable commodities in this world and as our generation becomes the foundation for our future, it is the trivial disagreements that go unresolved that lead to the “bad blood” and hindrances to a progressive tomorrow.
Confronting you with love,
Matias M. Barchman
I am an opinionated person and take pride in being argumentative. Growing up there were a lot of fights about who was right between my friends and I; some battles I won, some I lost, even if I refused to believe it. However, after a lengthy post-secondary career in college and university, I came to appreciate the results of open-minded debate especially when it came to the preservation of friendship. Here is a break down of what I think the keys are for verbally fighting with friends and coming out with your friendship intact:
Firstly, step up and talk about the issue. Usually the make or break of resolving any personal issue with someone is taking the initiative to talk about it in the first place. I would argue for the most part that people are anti-confrontational and unfortunately this could be a hindrance in beginning the restorative process. Furthermore, relax as best you can because no good resolution ever came of an argument on the brink of fists being thrown. Sit down and breathe. Its time to talk it out.
At the forefront: respect. You are not talking to make things worse or attack integrity; you are trying to come to a compromise. In the end, there should not be any “winners” or “losers”; consensus is what counts. Additionally, remember you are friends to begin with and for a reason, so even if your counterpart is telling you something that you think is completely asinine, keep in mind that this person is still your buddy (for the most part anyway) and listen to what they have to say.
Next, get it all out there. Like any good debate, throw out exactly what your issue is and do not “beat around the bush”. One has to be completely honest with precisely what it is they have a problem with because that is the only way everyone involved will ever be able to come to terms with it. Furthermore, as friends, people need to be honest with each other and that is what good friends do: they trust that they will not be personally ridiculed because of something they believe. Sure they can be disagreed with, prodded, made fun of, laughed at, etc. but in the end, if it is something they have strong feelings for, no one is going to change that so it should be accepted. You may be friends but you are not the same person.
Subsequently, take turns and listen. This was one of my biggest problems. Whatever your friend(s) have to say, let them say it and do not interrupt until they are finished (you may have to ask, but make sure they are finished their point). If need be, make the point-counterpoint discussion that rudimentary and it will be hard to go wrong. Jumping the gun and attacking a point before the person even has a chance to finish only leads to tangents and more time wasted momentarily hating each other.
Speaking of tangents, stay on topic. Disputes between friends often lead to a regurgitation of arguments past and opening up old wounds. Unless the subject matter is completely relevant and you can keep it brief, keep the main issue the priority and at the forefront; bringing up something that was supposed to be resolved and forgotten or starting to argue about the minor details does not get the pressing issue settled. At times, the little stuff has to be left at an “agree to disagree” in order to keep things moving along and tightening the gap towards a solution.
Most importantly, understand that all parties are probably not going to get the result they were looking for. Look, you are clearly up in arms over something that is hard to be, or will never be, completely agreed upon. Why else would a quarrel become so heated? However, for the sake of your friendship and sanity, COMPRIMISE. I am not sure how many times I have had to beat this notion into my brain and I can tell you that this is probably the hardest part to accept. However, I can also say that I have been the most happy when all parties go away satisfied and everyone can still call themselves friends.
To conclude, this may seem like an overly simple solution to handling a hot issue you and your friends are debating over but frankly, most issues do not get resolved because the preliminary step is never taken to begin with; that is, talking about it in the first place. Silence is the ultimate killer between disputing friends and an abundance of time will not help when you basically have to start where you left off. Its time we as a people start resolving our personal issues we have with each other, especially if it is relatively small in the entire scheme of things. Comraderie and friendship are invaluable commodities in this world and as our generation becomes the foundation for our future, it is the trivial disagreements that go unresolved that lead to the “bad blood” and hindrances to a progressive tomorrow.
Confronting you with love,
Matias M. Barchman
Monday, March 29, 2010
Things I hate about certain sports: Retaliation for Clean Hits in the NHL and Music During NLL Games
There are a few things that have come up in discussions with friends that had me thinking about certain aspects of sports. I’m sure this will be the first of a handful of installments to be developed as they come up.
The National Hockey League: Retaliation for legitimate hits
I hate how legitimate hits have become the new instigator for retaliation in hockey. As a competitor in full-contact team sports, I believe blatant cheap-shots and attempts to injure or dismay players with physical brutality has always warranted team toughness; whether that means dropping the gloves to fight or applying a more physical presence, I have no quarrel with a team refusing to be bullied. However, it seems that any highlight of physical play, clean or dirty, is starting to become the justification for retaliation by teams across the NHL. Now, remember this discussion is outside of the realm of head-hunting hits or attempts to injure; I am purely focusing on good, clean contact whether the result leaves the player on the receiving end in good health or not. Hockey players in the NHL have acclimatized themselves to an environment where physical contact is the norm and it does not matter if one is a superstar goal scorer or physical enforcer. This idea has to take precedence next time a team feels cheated because their leading point-getter had his head down in the neutral-zone resulting in his bell being severely –but cleanly- rung.
Retaliation for good physical plays only looks like a team or individual is unable to cope with the mentality of tough hockey, something that has drastically been reduced by officiating since about the 1990’s. However, not all is lost. One cannot help but be inspired when the two best players in the NHL (Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin) bring their physical play to the game and show that the best players must have considerable ability in this characteristic of hockey to be considered well-rounded; Crosby’s willingness to fight when it is warranted and Ovechkin’s highlight reel hits send a great message to the fans of hockey when it comes to how to best implement physicality in the game. Having the status these players have and being able to dish out exactly what they are expected to take game after game, has to be understood universally throughout the sport of hockey. Anything less, such as players or teams who do not like to see their teammates involved in hard physical play, should not be tolerated and even labeled as ‘heartless’. Hitting and fighting in hockey is here to stay because they are tools of strategy utilized throughout the game; players unwilling to man-up and accept that they may one day be caught dealing with these strategies is ultimately kidding themselves and unworthy of protection.
The National Lacrosse League: Music during games
I hate how the National Lacrosse League has made it standard practice to play music in the background during games. For those of you unfamiliar with professional indoor lacrosse, a quick visit to YouTube should provide for a quick tutorial. The fact that professional indoor lacrosse is a relatively new sport in the conglomerate of professional sports seen around the world, people need to learn how the game works in order for them to enjoy its full potential. What does not help, is a playlist of music going on while fans and players are trying to focus on game play. I have worked as the music jockey for some high profile lacrosse games and implemented the same principles used in hockey games; associate a song’s emotion with the emotion of the current situation in the game as to keep the crowd in tune, but once play is underway let the focus be entirely on the game itself. It seems that the NLL is so concerned with fans being less than entertained by a game considered by many as one of the best spectator sports in the world, they thought an atmosphere familiar to a waiting room would be the best way to insure the ticket-buyer is getting the best value for their patronage.
Music during the play of professional lacrosse only cheapens the experience for fans and provides a further obstacle to people learning the first game that united Canada in sport. The easier a sport is to focus on, the easier it is to learn; the more known about a sport, the more the little nuances become valued and therefore the mechanics of the game become that much more appreciated. The NLL needs to stop worrying about its fan’s possible lack of amusement and let the game itself become the unquestioned epicenter for their entertainment without the bells and whistles. Obviously, professional sports are about drawing fans and making money, and one cannot do that without providing the most entertainment possible. However, when professional entertainers –because in the end, that is what all professional sporting entities are- cheapen their showcase performance by diluting it with anything they think will appease their audience, that same audience begins to lose respect for the very “sport” they have come to the arena to enjoy.
Keeping his head up and music down,
Matias M. Barchman
The National Hockey League: Retaliation for legitimate hits
I hate how legitimate hits have become the new instigator for retaliation in hockey. As a competitor in full-contact team sports, I believe blatant cheap-shots and attempts to injure or dismay players with physical brutality has always warranted team toughness; whether that means dropping the gloves to fight or applying a more physical presence, I have no quarrel with a team refusing to be bullied. However, it seems that any highlight of physical play, clean or dirty, is starting to become the justification for retaliation by teams across the NHL. Now, remember this discussion is outside of the realm of head-hunting hits or attempts to injure; I am purely focusing on good, clean contact whether the result leaves the player on the receiving end in good health or not. Hockey players in the NHL have acclimatized themselves to an environment where physical contact is the norm and it does not matter if one is a superstar goal scorer or physical enforcer. This idea has to take precedence next time a team feels cheated because their leading point-getter had his head down in the neutral-zone resulting in his bell being severely –but cleanly- rung.
Retaliation for good physical plays only looks like a team or individual is unable to cope with the mentality of tough hockey, something that has drastically been reduced by officiating since about the 1990’s. However, not all is lost. One cannot help but be inspired when the two best players in the NHL (Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin) bring their physical play to the game and show that the best players must have considerable ability in this characteristic of hockey to be considered well-rounded; Crosby’s willingness to fight when it is warranted and Ovechkin’s highlight reel hits send a great message to the fans of hockey when it comes to how to best implement physicality in the game. Having the status these players have and being able to dish out exactly what they are expected to take game after game, has to be understood universally throughout the sport of hockey. Anything less, such as players or teams who do not like to see their teammates involved in hard physical play, should not be tolerated and even labeled as ‘heartless’. Hitting and fighting in hockey is here to stay because they are tools of strategy utilized throughout the game; players unwilling to man-up and accept that they may one day be caught dealing with these strategies is ultimately kidding themselves and unworthy of protection.
The National Lacrosse League: Music during games
I hate how the National Lacrosse League has made it standard practice to play music in the background during games. For those of you unfamiliar with professional indoor lacrosse, a quick visit to YouTube should provide for a quick tutorial. The fact that professional indoor lacrosse is a relatively new sport in the conglomerate of professional sports seen around the world, people need to learn how the game works in order for them to enjoy its full potential. What does not help, is a playlist of music going on while fans and players are trying to focus on game play. I have worked as the music jockey for some high profile lacrosse games and implemented the same principles used in hockey games; associate a song’s emotion with the emotion of the current situation in the game as to keep the crowd in tune, but once play is underway let the focus be entirely on the game itself. It seems that the NLL is so concerned with fans being less than entertained by a game considered by many as one of the best spectator sports in the world, they thought an atmosphere familiar to a waiting room would be the best way to insure the ticket-buyer is getting the best value for their patronage.
Music during the play of professional lacrosse only cheapens the experience for fans and provides a further obstacle to people learning the first game that united Canada in sport. The easier a sport is to focus on, the easier it is to learn; the more known about a sport, the more the little nuances become valued and therefore the mechanics of the game become that much more appreciated. The NLL needs to stop worrying about its fan’s possible lack of amusement and let the game itself become the unquestioned epicenter for their entertainment without the bells and whistles. Obviously, professional sports are about drawing fans and making money, and one cannot do that without providing the most entertainment possible. However, when professional entertainers –because in the end, that is what all professional sporting entities are- cheapen their showcase performance by diluting it with anything they think will appease their audience, that same audience begins to lose respect for the very “sport” they have come to the arena to enjoy.
Keeping his head up and music down,
Matias M. Barchman
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
The Science of Good Sex
I’m no love guru. I cannot sit here and pretend that I am an expert on relationships or human psyche when it comes to love and sex. However, I have had my fair share of serious relationships and a whole bunch of experience with the “single life”. Therefore, there are a few things I have learned over the years that I believe we can all apply to this part of our lives if you haven’t already.
Personally, sex has always been an interesting subject; starting in grade eight where I would start to grab every piece of literature I could to learn as much as I could before being “thrown into the lions den” so to speak. But as I have come to understand, unfortunately, the decisions one will make when it comes to sex, love and the science of relationships is based on a history of trial and error. Sure, one can look into and research the vast amount of material available to us on the subject, but just as with the rest of life, nothing will teach a person more than explicit experience itself. Granted, I have not been around a very long time and a quarter of a century can only limit someone such as myself to so much intimate experience in this field while remaining “respectable”. However, there are things I have personally learned in my sex life that I believe are worth sharing with my peers.
To begin, sex has been put on such a pedestal in North America that it has become as feared as it is loved. Sex is a natural part of life that people, for the most part, attribute positive feelings towards. In all honesty, as long as mutual respect takes precedence, I do not hold a double-standard when it comes to men and women who enjoy sex. It would take a lot for me to call a girl a “slut” and sadly, I believe women themselves are their own worst critics for this. Thankfully, sex between peers in my social circle has been quite prevalent for a while now and there has been an ever-growing relaxed attitude towards it, spotted every so often with some occasional drama; c'est la vie. So what is good sex all about?
To me, good sex is about passion, variety, communication and the desire to please all parties involved; all things everyone has within them or are capable of learning. Which transitions nicely to my first point, the desire to learn. No one is good at sex right off the bat and we are usually reminded of that after the first encounter with a new partner. So how does one start learning about (excuse the pun) the ins and outs of good sex? It starts with the individual and the ability to “satisfy” oneself. Men, women and everyone in between, if one cannot satisfy themselves or just refuse to participate in such acts, odds are that person’s significant other is going to have a hell of a time trying to. To learn what it takes to get us where we want to go and to have the ability to share that knowledge with a significant other, is the first key to great sex.
The art of learning personal erogenous zones or how they like to be stimulated cannot end with the individual self. As I can best testify from the male perspective, men have to fully understand that women are their greatest ally when it comes to pleasing the complexity of the female form and no one else could explain it better. Whether that means putting down the Maxim and picking up a Cosmo (I love when you girl-friends of mine have the UK edition by the way) or simply asking detailed questions to a trusted girl-friend, the more information the better so gentleman keep your eyes open, ears tuned and pay attention.
When it comes to variety, spontaneity and location are two concepts easy enough to grasp so showing a discrepancy in these two aspects is a good start. When it comes to the act of having sex itself, learning interesting positions and techniques is as easy to reference as turning on a computer screen. The Internet and porn is an encyclopaedia of positions and moves that will only broaden one’s repertoire in the bedroom (time to get over porn all you prudes out there, its here to stay so you might as well makes some use of it!). As for communication, if one does not ask, one will never get. Communicating to each other what is being sought after intimately is a must but is simple as that; simply talking about one’s desires is usually the easiest way to receive them. Great sex is not limited to the casual and I would argue the exact opposite. Relationship sex can be some of the most phenomenal sex one will ever experience and it is not hard to see why the potential is so strong.
A long, loving relationship can produce some of the best and craziest sex one will experience in their lifetime. An atmosphere of trust and intimate knowledge of a significant other’s desires are the base ingredients for a recipe of unrivaled sex, assuming both people are on the same page sexually. Great sex between long-term partners is part of the foundation for successful relationships unless of course, the couple has chosen total abstinence (if that’s the case I can’t believe you’ve read this far). Again, as I can only testify from a male perspective, I believe men are relatively simple when it comes to being completely sexually satisfied by their significant other.
Basically it boils down to this: for lack of a better source, I have to quote the great Ludacris as men want “A lady in the street but a freak in the bed”. In other words ladies, men want to worship you as their sex goddess but it’s up to you to slay them. My best advice? I’m sorry I have to refer back to porn but I’ll legitimize it I promise. Ever noticed how most porn is the same? I mean, sure it varies when you get into the details but most scenes are structured similarly. The point is, men as a gender are not complicated to figure out when it comes to what does it for them sexually. Take the most popular porn stars or scenes in the word, learn their patterns and techniques, and –without hurting yourself of course- implicate them in your relationship. If any of you girlfriends/wives/life-partners/etc take this advice literally and any guy shuns you for it, you break up with him on the spot because rest assured you are going to make your next man one of the luckiest around; he’ll show you that he knows it too and his Internet browser’s history will never have looked so clean. When it comes to your own pleasure ladies, ask and ye shall receive, but you should know that by now. Oh, and if a guy doesn’t step up and reciprocate the “favours” you give –sorry boys- but he’s not worth it.
So that’s it, my science behind good sex. To reiterate, passion, variety, communication and the desire to please all parties; a theory I stand by and I think we can all agree upon. In the end, good sex is something that is attainable by all with the right mindset; one doesn’t have to be an expert on the subject or be the next adult entertainment superstar, but it doesn’t hurt to act like it once in a while.
Giving Sue Johanson a run for her money,
Matias M. Barchman
Personally, sex has always been an interesting subject; starting in grade eight where I would start to grab every piece of literature I could to learn as much as I could before being “thrown into the lions den” so to speak. But as I have come to understand, unfortunately, the decisions one will make when it comes to sex, love and the science of relationships is based on a history of trial and error. Sure, one can look into and research the vast amount of material available to us on the subject, but just as with the rest of life, nothing will teach a person more than explicit experience itself. Granted, I have not been around a very long time and a quarter of a century can only limit someone such as myself to so much intimate experience in this field while remaining “respectable”. However, there are things I have personally learned in my sex life that I believe are worth sharing with my peers.
To begin, sex has been put on such a pedestal in North America that it has become as feared as it is loved. Sex is a natural part of life that people, for the most part, attribute positive feelings towards. In all honesty, as long as mutual respect takes precedence, I do not hold a double-standard when it comes to men and women who enjoy sex. It would take a lot for me to call a girl a “slut” and sadly, I believe women themselves are their own worst critics for this. Thankfully, sex between peers in my social circle has been quite prevalent for a while now and there has been an ever-growing relaxed attitude towards it, spotted every so often with some occasional drama; c'est la vie. So what is good sex all about?
To me, good sex is about passion, variety, communication and the desire to please all parties involved; all things everyone has within them or are capable of learning. Which transitions nicely to my first point, the desire to learn. No one is good at sex right off the bat and we are usually reminded of that after the first encounter with a new partner. So how does one start learning about (excuse the pun) the ins and outs of good sex? It starts with the individual and the ability to “satisfy” oneself. Men, women and everyone in between, if one cannot satisfy themselves or just refuse to participate in such acts, odds are that person’s significant other is going to have a hell of a time trying to. To learn what it takes to get us where we want to go and to have the ability to share that knowledge with a significant other, is the first key to great sex.
The art of learning personal erogenous zones or how they like to be stimulated cannot end with the individual self. As I can best testify from the male perspective, men have to fully understand that women are their greatest ally when it comes to pleasing the complexity of the female form and no one else could explain it better. Whether that means putting down the Maxim and picking up a Cosmo (I love when you girl-friends of mine have the UK edition by the way) or simply asking detailed questions to a trusted girl-friend, the more information the better so gentleman keep your eyes open, ears tuned and pay attention.
When it comes to variety, spontaneity and location are two concepts easy enough to grasp so showing a discrepancy in these two aspects is a good start. When it comes to the act of having sex itself, learning interesting positions and techniques is as easy to reference as turning on a computer screen. The Internet and porn is an encyclopaedia of positions and moves that will only broaden one’s repertoire in the bedroom (time to get over porn all you prudes out there, its here to stay so you might as well makes some use of it!). As for communication, if one does not ask, one will never get. Communicating to each other what is being sought after intimately is a must but is simple as that; simply talking about one’s desires is usually the easiest way to receive them. Great sex is not limited to the casual and I would argue the exact opposite. Relationship sex can be some of the most phenomenal sex one will ever experience and it is not hard to see why the potential is so strong.
A long, loving relationship can produce some of the best and craziest sex one will experience in their lifetime. An atmosphere of trust and intimate knowledge of a significant other’s desires are the base ingredients for a recipe of unrivaled sex, assuming both people are on the same page sexually. Great sex between long-term partners is part of the foundation for successful relationships unless of course, the couple has chosen total abstinence (if that’s the case I can’t believe you’ve read this far). Again, as I can only testify from a male perspective, I believe men are relatively simple when it comes to being completely sexually satisfied by their significant other.
Basically it boils down to this: for lack of a better source, I have to quote the great Ludacris as men want “A lady in the street but a freak in the bed”. In other words ladies, men want to worship you as their sex goddess but it’s up to you to slay them. My best advice? I’m sorry I have to refer back to porn but I’ll legitimize it I promise. Ever noticed how most porn is the same? I mean, sure it varies when you get into the details but most scenes are structured similarly. The point is, men as a gender are not complicated to figure out when it comes to what does it for them sexually. Take the most popular porn stars or scenes in the word, learn their patterns and techniques, and –without hurting yourself of course- implicate them in your relationship. If any of you girlfriends/wives/life-partners/etc take this advice literally and any guy shuns you for it, you break up with him on the spot because rest assured you are going to make your next man one of the luckiest around; he’ll show you that he knows it too and his Internet browser’s history will never have looked so clean. When it comes to your own pleasure ladies, ask and ye shall receive, but you should know that by now. Oh, and if a guy doesn’t step up and reciprocate the “favours” you give –sorry boys- but he’s not worth it.
So that’s it, my science behind good sex. To reiterate, passion, variety, communication and the desire to please all parties; a theory I stand by and I think we can all agree upon. In the end, good sex is something that is attainable by all with the right mindset; one doesn’t have to be an expert on the subject or be the next adult entertainment superstar, but it doesn’t hurt to act like it once in a while.
Giving Sue Johanson a run for her money,
Matias M. Barchman
Monday, March 1, 2010
The Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games: The Inspiration for a Better GVRD
I write this latest entry literally still spinning from what was an epic last day and night of the 2010 Winter Olympics. A day that started well before noon as Canadians around the world prepared themselves for a climactic hockey game and the post-game party that was sure to happen, win or lose (it was simply much better for society that we won as a loss would have put the ’94 “public gathering” to shame). Throughout these Olympics, I have had friends ask me when I was going to post my thoughts about the games on here but I was skeptical that I would even do so considering the vast amount of media coverage we have had to sort through. However, after last night and getting a chance to reflect on the memories, photos and stories, it certainly did not leave me with a lack of inspiration.
What I believe to be the most overwhelming notion when it came to Vancouver 2010, was how it changed the public’s attitude it held toward each other, possibly forever. At no other time could we see the comradery, friendship and love people had for their country and their fellow countrymen. At a time where Vancouver and its surrounding neighborhoods seemed laden with criminal problems, violence, gangs, shootings, etc, it seemed society took a complete 180 degree turn in the other direction. Now, it would be naive to think that this was simply because people decided they wanted to behave well; a 900 million dollar security budget and the bright neon-yellow vests of the massive VPD presence made sure the public felt as safe as possible walking downtown Vancouver well into the night. With safety no longer an issue in people’s minds, the public was free to roam the streets of Vancouver in a realm of positivity and my-oh-my was it contagious.
National pride was merely the excuse people needed to have a great time with one another, friends and strangers alike. Actions and attitudes of abnormal positivity were at the heart of the celebration and it was something the public wished it could express year-round. Displays of kindness and fellowship from a public who is otherwise quite passive, was so heartwarming that one would have to make a preemptive decision if they did not want to enjoy themselves. Vancouver 2010 showed people the utopian society local resident’s only dream of living in and more importantly, it showed how much good the community is capable of.
Now, what we as a people need to take from the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games is this awe-inspiring positive feeling and run with it. The optimism we displayed in our lives for the past two weeks is the next step this great city and its surrounding district needs to take in its overall mind-set. The longer we hold onto this attitude towards ourselves and the place we live will only mean a better future for all of us. In the end and whether we think so or not, the public is the final voice when it comes to the type of life we wish to live. What I am alluding to is if we continue to hold onto these positive feelings for each other, it will only work to see our lives get better in all perspectives. It is feelings like these that lead to a society where the person is always put first before everything else, selfishness becomes taboo, and strangers are simply unacquainted friends.
The Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games may have been the party of the century thus far, but it will hopefully been seen as the occasion we as a people used to consciously decide to even further improve on the admirable attitude we are currently known for.
With a glowing heart and seeing the rise of a better GVRD,
Matias M. Barchman
What I believe to be the most overwhelming notion when it came to Vancouver 2010, was how it changed the public’s attitude it held toward each other, possibly forever. At no other time could we see the comradery, friendship and love people had for their country and their fellow countrymen. At a time where Vancouver and its surrounding neighborhoods seemed laden with criminal problems, violence, gangs, shootings, etc, it seemed society took a complete 180 degree turn in the other direction. Now, it would be naive to think that this was simply because people decided they wanted to behave well; a 900 million dollar security budget and the bright neon-yellow vests of the massive VPD presence made sure the public felt as safe as possible walking downtown Vancouver well into the night. With safety no longer an issue in people’s minds, the public was free to roam the streets of Vancouver in a realm of positivity and my-oh-my was it contagious.
National pride was merely the excuse people needed to have a great time with one another, friends and strangers alike. Actions and attitudes of abnormal positivity were at the heart of the celebration and it was something the public wished it could express year-round. Displays of kindness and fellowship from a public who is otherwise quite passive, was so heartwarming that one would have to make a preemptive decision if they did not want to enjoy themselves. Vancouver 2010 showed people the utopian society local resident’s only dream of living in and more importantly, it showed how much good the community is capable of.
Now, what we as a people need to take from the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games is this awe-inspiring positive feeling and run with it. The optimism we displayed in our lives for the past two weeks is the next step this great city and its surrounding district needs to take in its overall mind-set. The longer we hold onto this attitude towards ourselves and the place we live will only mean a better future for all of us. In the end and whether we think so or not, the public is the final voice when it comes to the type of life we wish to live. What I am alluding to is if we continue to hold onto these positive feelings for each other, it will only work to see our lives get better in all perspectives. It is feelings like these that lead to a society where the person is always put first before everything else, selfishness becomes taboo, and strangers are simply unacquainted friends.
The Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games may have been the party of the century thus far, but it will hopefully been seen as the occasion we as a people used to consciously decide to even further improve on the admirable attitude we are currently known for.
With a glowing heart and seeing the rise of a better GVRD,
Matias M. Barchman
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Generation Y? More like Generation N: Physically living up to the standards of society's most narcissistic generation
Today’s generation of adolescents and young adults have set the new standard for self-inflated egos everywhere. No other generation has come close to the amount of effort it takes to have the perfect body. Today’s middle to upper-class society is one driven by a notion that to look perfect is to be perfect and that a lack of effort on one’s physical appearance is as much of a faux pas as wearing sandals with socks (I’m sorry to all you sandal-sock practitioners out there but you just shouldn’t do that). At one point or another, all of us in this demographic have been caught up in the hype of what it means to be considered above average looking and this hype has unfortunately created a notion where becoming above average is as simple as having a certain body type.
I clearly remember the phase I went through when I decided to keep up with the images of perfection that are constantly reiterated through the varied mediums we encounter throughout the day. It was right after the first summer where I landed a full time unionized job and therefore I had a lot of cash with nothing to spend it on. As I’m sure many of you can testify about your first well-paying job, I spent the money on my car, food and partying. By the end of the summer I was the heaviest I had ever been in my life and decided I needed a big change. Now, this isn’t to say people bugged me, or anyone pressured me to change; I was actually performing well in sport because of my ability to physically handle the competition on the lacrosse floor and the opposite sex still gave me the same attention as before. However, as I fell victim to our generation’s expectations of perfection, my decision was purely based on wanting to physically become as close to that expectation as possible.
Having an athletic background only hastened the journey to my goal, as in the end, I credit the change I made to the dedication to a program; probably the most difficult aspect of any physical/fitness goal. After months of training five, sometimes six days a week, making myself terrified of consuming carbs, and judging my progress in the mirror, not on performance or health, I had never looked fitter in my life. However (and this is a big however), reality set in to the cost of what it takes to have the body that every fitness salesman says could be yours with little effort.
After shedding all the weight and becoming the apparent fitness spokesman I looked like, I arrived at next year’s lacrosse try-outs appearing ready to run circles around my fellow competitors. I learned quickly that this would not be the case. As I had become so concerned with my looks as apposed to my performance, I had literally trained myself to perform worse and the first few days of try-outs were pure agony; a terrible diet and incorrect training regime had me on the brink of unconsciousness at times and I was constantly sick to my stomach. Let this story be a lesson to all that one can essentially become the epitome of physical perfection relatively easily, however, one best be prepared for that commitment to basically effect every aspect of their life.
Since that point I have (physically and professionally) learned a lot about my body and have come to understand that what is “perfect” in the eyes of society is usually not the case for the individual. I understand now that physically resembling the standard of the faultless bodies we as a generation have come to think of as perfect, has more to do with genetics than how much you hit the gym. Case in point, plastic surgery, steroids, fitness supplements, tanning salons, etc., all work to try to change what most people were simply not born to look like and usually results in those unnatural looks being physically obvious. I have personally concluded that being physically and mentally healthy outweighs having the picture perfect look ten-fold.
By now, some of you are probably saying, “this is old news, why did you just waste my time writing this garbage?” Well, it is important for our generation to start hearing that perfection is found within ourselves not what we are told and that perfection ALWAYS looks different. In the end this is the message I wanted to express: although all of us are at the mercy of our peers, no one can fault someone who is physically and mentally healthy, therefore this should be everyone’s goal when trying to become the person they have always wanted to be. Furthermore, as physical and mental health go hand in hand, they should compliment each other, not be adversaries. Over-stressing about physical demeanor only leads to an excess of mental anxiety and making poor decisions; if you don’t believe that, ask Heidi Montag or the cast of the Jersey Shore.
Demanding perfection in oneself is not a negative outlook on life but one must know that individual perfection is not necessarily designated by the masses. We live in a generation whose physical expectations have come to exceed the natural limitations of the average person. That being said, if you are one of the people striving to become everyone’s dream of physical perfection, well, I wish you good luck sir or madam, because you are going to need it. However, if your goal is to be physically healthy and keep a good, confident head on your shoulders, you should already be commended.
Content with his lack of abs,
Matias M. Barchman
I clearly remember the phase I went through when I decided to keep up with the images of perfection that are constantly reiterated through the varied mediums we encounter throughout the day. It was right after the first summer where I landed a full time unionized job and therefore I had a lot of cash with nothing to spend it on. As I’m sure many of you can testify about your first well-paying job, I spent the money on my car, food and partying. By the end of the summer I was the heaviest I had ever been in my life and decided I needed a big change. Now, this isn’t to say people bugged me, or anyone pressured me to change; I was actually performing well in sport because of my ability to physically handle the competition on the lacrosse floor and the opposite sex still gave me the same attention as before. However, as I fell victim to our generation’s expectations of perfection, my decision was purely based on wanting to physically become as close to that expectation as possible.
Having an athletic background only hastened the journey to my goal, as in the end, I credit the change I made to the dedication to a program; probably the most difficult aspect of any physical/fitness goal. After months of training five, sometimes six days a week, making myself terrified of consuming carbs, and judging my progress in the mirror, not on performance or health, I had never looked fitter in my life. However (and this is a big however), reality set in to the cost of what it takes to have the body that every fitness salesman says could be yours with little effort.
After shedding all the weight and becoming the apparent fitness spokesman I looked like, I arrived at next year’s lacrosse try-outs appearing ready to run circles around my fellow competitors. I learned quickly that this would not be the case. As I had become so concerned with my looks as apposed to my performance, I had literally trained myself to perform worse and the first few days of try-outs were pure agony; a terrible diet and incorrect training regime had me on the brink of unconsciousness at times and I was constantly sick to my stomach. Let this story be a lesson to all that one can essentially become the epitome of physical perfection relatively easily, however, one best be prepared for that commitment to basically effect every aspect of their life.
Since that point I have (physically and professionally) learned a lot about my body and have come to understand that what is “perfect” in the eyes of society is usually not the case for the individual. I understand now that physically resembling the standard of the faultless bodies we as a generation have come to think of as perfect, has more to do with genetics than how much you hit the gym. Case in point, plastic surgery, steroids, fitness supplements, tanning salons, etc., all work to try to change what most people were simply not born to look like and usually results in those unnatural looks being physically obvious. I have personally concluded that being physically and mentally healthy outweighs having the picture perfect look ten-fold.
By now, some of you are probably saying, “this is old news, why did you just waste my time writing this garbage?” Well, it is important for our generation to start hearing that perfection is found within ourselves not what we are told and that perfection ALWAYS looks different. In the end this is the message I wanted to express: although all of us are at the mercy of our peers, no one can fault someone who is physically and mentally healthy, therefore this should be everyone’s goal when trying to become the person they have always wanted to be. Furthermore, as physical and mental health go hand in hand, they should compliment each other, not be adversaries. Over-stressing about physical demeanor only leads to an excess of mental anxiety and making poor decisions; if you don’t believe that, ask Heidi Montag or the cast of the Jersey Shore.
Demanding perfection in oneself is not a negative outlook on life but one must know that individual perfection is not necessarily designated by the masses. We live in a generation whose physical expectations have come to exceed the natural limitations of the average person. That being said, if you are one of the people striving to become everyone’s dream of physical perfection, well, I wish you good luck sir or madam, because you are going to need it. However, if your goal is to be physically healthy and keep a good, confident head on your shoulders, you should already be commended.
Content with his lack of abs,
Matias M. Barchman
Monday, February 8, 2010
Super Bowl Sunday aka “World America Day Featuring Football”
The Super Bowl is as much of a holiday as any other; you just don’t get paid double for working it (those of you in the service industry can appreciate that). The Super Bowl is the celebration of everything wonderful about being American. At its epicenter, is a sport unquestionably dominated by the country of its origin that involves the arguably most athletic people in the world. A sport that combines the in-depth strategy of a chess match with impacts that rival car accidents; a truly American sport. Super Bowl Sunday is America’s way to celebrate football but in reality, the football played has taken a back seat to America’s –and therefore the world’s- need to celebrate America. To state the obvious, I got this notion this Super Bowl Sunday and as a Canadian who’s not really that keen on American football, I believe I provide a decently omniscient view of the holiday. Saying that, I’m not implying that I have not participated in its celebration for years.
To begin, from a media standpoint, Super Bowl Sunday is the moneymaker. As it is hyped up almost above and beyond people’s excitement by America’s superlative media system, viewership is going to directly cause the exchange of millions if not billions of dollars and consequently becomes the American media’s time to shine. The way the Super Bowl is experienced through an American television feed can arguably rival being at the event itself. Although attending would be an incredible experience, the media presentation of the Super Bowl offers everything the game delivers with the angles and perspectives that simply can’t be seen or heard without a television. Presenters make sure they have done everything in their power to keep their viewers entertained, even going the extra mile by employing some of the best performers in the world to keep onlookers amused while they wait for the players to rest; hell, they even make the commercials funny. So right off the bat, we have a holiday that celebrates American Capitalism and its unparalleled media… sounds like we’re on the right track. The entire celebration is not relegated to a media presentation however; how one is generally supposed to enjoy that presentation is just as important.
Traditionally, the celebration of Super Bowl Sunday involves being a sports-nut for a day and connoisseur of the finest American cuisine. No matter how small or large the celebration, these two dynamics are ever apparent throughout the day. The Super Bowl is another celebration of a successful American athletic system that has a presence in almost every sport imaginable and a fan-base to match.
This Super Bowl Sunday, throughout the venues I attended, supporters were dawning their finest athletic attire, mostly made up of the NFL jerseys of the two teams vying for championship. Mostly. As the Super Bowl has become more of a celebration of American sport in general, NFL jerseys ranging from a variety of teams could be seen and I even encountered jerseys from sports not even being highlighted this day (I can’t begin to explain how much of a faux pas it is to wear a jersey unrelated to the sport event one is celebrating, but it had to be mentioned). The Super Bowl celebration can bring out the sports fan in even the least of sport-savvy people because it is a general social consensus that this particular Sunday is dedicated to enjoying the American ideology of sport. With the majority of people gathering to view the Super Bowl Sunday television extravaganza in their best athletic attire and mindset, we can go on to discuss a characteristic of the celebration that highlights the American culture at its best; the food.
The food consumed on Super Bowl Sunday is just as important as dinner on Thanksgiving or Christmas. Super Bowl Sunday is the second largest food-consumption day of the year (following Thanksgiving). Furthermore, it is undoubtedly American in nature. Just as eating turkey is synonymous with celebrating the aforementioned holidays, the general food choices during Super Bowl Sunday are similarly constant. A quick internet search reveals some of the daunting food consumption facts for the United States:
Pounds of potato chips consumed on Super Bowl Sunday = 11 million
Pounds of tortilla chips = 8.2 million
Pounds of popcorn = 3.8 million
Percentage increase in sales of frozen shrimp = 29 percent
Amount of money spent on soft drinks at grocery stores during the entire Super Bowl week = $237.2 million
Calories consumed by the average Super Bowl watcher = 1,200
Increase in sales of flavored snack crackers = 68 percent
Number of pizzas Pizza Hut expects to prepare on Super Bowl Sunday= 2 million
Pounds of snack food Americans gobble down on Super Bowl Sunday = 30.4 million (2x the average daily amount)
(Source: http://www.nubella.com/content/view/1530/)
One must be sure to note that these statistics are based on American figures alone and do not include additional audiences around the world.
If the overwhelming consumption of unhealthy food is not profoundly an American celebration concept in itself, the specific foods that are so massively consumed make it so. As snack and fast foods are the most prominent in America, no celebration of the American culture could be complete without them. Super Bowl Sunday becomes a day where viewers around the world can indulge in American food culture without having their conscious’s feel guilty about it. Further attention could also be drawn to beer/alcohol consumption during Super Bowl Sunday -additional sales of beer goes into the tens of millions- however, binge drinking to celebrate something is essentially a global concept.
Super Bowl Sunday, a spectacle that generates an unprecedented amount of capital, is presented by the greatest media conglomerate in the world, and globally celebrates American sport and culture. As per usual, I take a full political stance on the matter. This entry is not looking to come down on American culture or how it celebrates itself as a nation; but simply a way to call attention to how Super Bowl Sunday has become more than just a day highlighting the championship of one of the toughest sports in the world. “World America Day Featuring Football” is well on its way to becoming an official holiday. Although the majority of the working world has Sunday to themselves, all you Super Bowl viewers out there can agree that having “Super Monday” off would work wonders for your American-style hangover. Football! America! F*** ya.
Dreaming of one day celebrating a “World Canada Day Featuring Hockey”,
Matias M. Barchman
To begin, from a media standpoint, Super Bowl Sunday is the moneymaker. As it is hyped up almost above and beyond people’s excitement by America’s superlative media system, viewership is going to directly cause the exchange of millions if not billions of dollars and consequently becomes the American media’s time to shine. The way the Super Bowl is experienced through an American television feed can arguably rival being at the event itself. Although attending would be an incredible experience, the media presentation of the Super Bowl offers everything the game delivers with the angles and perspectives that simply can’t be seen or heard without a television. Presenters make sure they have done everything in their power to keep their viewers entertained, even going the extra mile by employing some of the best performers in the world to keep onlookers amused while they wait for the players to rest; hell, they even make the commercials funny. So right off the bat, we have a holiday that celebrates American Capitalism and its unparalleled media… sounds like we’re on the right track. The entire celebration is not relegated to a media presentation however; how one is generally supposed to enjoy that presentation is just as important.
Traditionally, the celebration of Super Bowl Sunday involves being a sports-nut for a day and connoisseur of the finest American cuisine. No matter how small or large the celebration, these two dynamics are ever apparent throughout the day. The Super Bowl is another celebration of a successful American athletic system that has a presence in almost every sport imaginable and a fan-base to match.
This Super Bowl Sunday, throughout the venues I attended, supporters were dawning their finest athletic attire, mostly made up of the NFL jerseys of the two teams vying for championship. Mostly. As the Super Bowl has become more of a celebration of American sport in general, NFL jerseys ranging from a variety of teams could be seen and I even encountered jerseys from sports not even being highlighted this day (I can’t begin to explain how much of a faux pas it is to wear a jersey unrelated to the sport event one is celebrating, but it had to be mentioned). The Super Bowl celebration can bring out the sports fan in even the least of sport-savvy people because it is a general social consensus that this particular Sunday is dedicated to enjoying the American ideology of sport. With the majority of people gathering to view the Super Bowl Sunday television extravaganza in their best athletic attire and mindset, we can go on to discuss a characteristic of the celebration that highlights the American culture at its best; the food.
The food consumed on Super Bowl Sunday is just as important as dinner on Thanksgiving or Christmas. Super Bowl Sunday is the second largest food-consumption day of the year (following Thanksgiving). Furthermore, it is undoubtedly American in nature. Just as eating turkey is synonymous with celebrating the aforementioned holidays, the general food choices during Super Bowl Sunday are similarly constant. A quick internet search reveals some of the daunting food consumption facts for the United States:
Pounds of potato chips consumed on Super Bowl Sunday = 11 million
Pounds of tortilla chips = 8.2 million
Pounds of popcorn = 3.8 million
Percentage increase in sales of frozen shrimp = 29 percent
Amount of money spent on soft drinks at grocery stores during the entire Super Bowl week = $237.2 million
Calories consumed by the average Super Bowl watcher = 1,200
Increase in sales of flavored snack crackers = 68 percent
Number of pizzas Pizza Hut expects to prepare on Super Bowl Sunday= 2 million
Pounds of snack food Americans gobble down on Super Bowl Sunday = 30.4 million (2x the average daily amount)
(Source: http://www.nubella.com/content/view/1530/)
One must be sure to note that these statistics are based on American figures alone and do not include additional audiences around the world.
If the overwhelming consumption of unhealthy food is not profoundly an American celebration concept in itself, the specific foods that are so massively consumed make it so. As snack and fast foods are the most prominent in America, no celebration of the American culture could be complete without them. Super Bowl Sunday becomes a day where viewers around the world can indulge in American food culture without having their conscious’s feel guilty about it. Further attention could also be drawn to beer/alcohol consumption during Super Bowl Sunday -additional sales of beer goes into the tens of millions- however, binge drinking to celebrate something is essentially a global concept.
Super Bowl Sunday, a spectacle that generates an unprecedented amount of capital, is presented by the greatest media conglomerate in the world, and globally celebrates American sport and culture. As per usual, I take a full political stance on the matter. This entry is not looking to come down on American culture or how it celebrates itself as a nation; but simply a way to call attention to how Super Bowl Sunday has become more than just a day highlighting the championship of one of the toughest sports in the world. “World America Day Featuring Football” is well on its way to becoming an official holiday. Although the majority of the working world has Sunday to themselves, all you Super Bowl viewers out there can agree that having “Super Monday” off would work wonders for your American-style hangover. Football! America! F*** ya.
Dreaming of one day celebrating a “World Canada Day Featuring Hockey”,
Matias M. Barchman
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