Inebriated Thoughts Volume 2: The Drive, Old Friends Turned Contagious Dreamers, and Poutine Pizza

This post was inspired by an actual piece wrote at the tail-end of a great night out visiting an old friend on Commercial Drive. I would have posted it right away, but thankfully I had the surprisingly sober forethought to give myself a chance at making it a little more coherent first.



Imagine God, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Moses, and Ganesh got together and had a baby; now imagine that baby's fate was to make pizza and come up with the perfect flavor. The glory of this divine entity's creation would be Poutine Pizza with Montreal Smoked Meat. Tonight I had the mind-blowing experience of tasting the closest thing to heaven any Canadian would dream of, next to getting a few more Stanley Cups.

My friend and I journeyed to Commercial Drive tonight to visit an old friend from high school; a musician and one of Vancouver's up and coming who's who. We met at his home, a detached garage turned rustic departure, perfect for the musically ingenious and confidently optimistic.

In true Vancouver fashion, we indulged in a few pints and puffs and made our way to grab a quick bite to eat before the night really began. We walked a few blocks to indulge at a popular local eatery, known for its live music and homemade sausage. To add to the occasion, another friend from high-school and music artist to boot (apparently my hometown is big into developing the musically gifted) came to share a pitcher before taking off to a gig he would be committed to for the night. After a delicious meal, catching up and discussing the intricacies of life, my friend and I took off with our guide for the evening with plans of more inebriated nostalgia.

Our trio hopped on the 99B-Line towards Main-Street. The plan was to meet with our friend's girlfriend and let the night dictate itself. We stepped off the 'ol Trans-Link accordion at our destination and didn't make it more than 500 meters before low and behold, we bump into our artists' girlfriend and her posse of female accomplices. After being thoroughly impressed by the low-brow beer the girls were indulging in, they led us to the lounge they were planning on meeting us at; a comfortable hole in the wall, complete with unfinished carpentry and pluming, about 50 feet back the way we came.

After a few pitchers and getting to know the friendly faces of East Van, the girls decided to make an early night of it so us boys were left to come up with the next goal in the night to keep the overwhelming positivity of friendship reunion and lack of sobriety alive. Our artist informed us of a pizza we had to try, something him and another high school friend experienced not too long ago at a pizzeria not far from home. There is no way I would have thought that a concept as simple as a pizza would have me up at 3:26am, typing away on a computer while my artist friend is passed out on the bed 10 feet away; inspiration, you certainly pick your moments.

After stumbling back to our original meeting grounds, we decided that adding a little more intoxication to our diet was in order before making the three block walk towards the pizzeria that was to forever change my life. Arriving at our stereotypically Vancouver pizza-eatery, our artist friend confidently placed the less than ordinary order and it was received by a gentleman who was clearly meant to be in the business of pizzas. His Mediterranean accent informed us that our pizza was minutes away and we should make ourselves at home. After killing time with drunk dials, night recaps and anticipation, salvation was delivered as we were served a dish forever to be known in Canadian folklore.

The Montreal Smoked Meat Poutine Pizza, is a dish I will never experience the way I did this night. Culminating a night visiting old friends and the culture-rich neighbourhood they call home, the Poutine Pizza is something I implore any fellow Vancouverite (that is, all you apart of the GVRD) to experience for themselves; for those of you thinking the West Coast produces the least Canadian culture in the country, one bite of this pizza will send you back to Montreal like Paul Revere warning about the invasion of the British.

In the end, this post was truly an inebriated moment inspired by a place almost limitless in its thought process and imagination. Commercial drive and its friendly inhabitants seem to emit an energy felt by all those that visit; a feeling that can cry for unbounded creativity especially when combined with your personal outlet. All one needs is a garage turned studio apartment and Poutine Pizza... don't' forget the Montreal Smoked Meat.


Happy to finally justify passing out,

Matias M. Barchman



Brados on Commercial's Poutine Pizza with Montreal Smoked Meat. Just go have it. You'll understand.

Treat Drugs like Cigarettes!

An old friend and I were discussing the never-ending debate on our government and its stance on intoxicants, mainly “drugs”. We came up with an interesting theory about comparing drugs to cigarettes and how our society has naturally made the practise of smoking tobacco taboo. Society in general is relatively smart and it is not hard to see that a practise where the cons outweigh the pros is usually met with a following of the few and not the many. In other words, society seems to naturally weed out its own negative practises for the betterment of humanity; this can be related to all life and the basic premise that survival of the species and its prosperity are always priority.

The consumption of drugs has undoubtedly become a health issue and not a criminal one. Substance abuse has become the backbone of the drug industry making the criminal fight of their prohibition basically impossible; how can any governing body prevent access to any substance with such a high demand? There in itself we see a major problem to the traditional approach to the fight against substance abuse. As the demand for illicit drugs stays high, basic economics reaffirms that there will exist a supply to match, and if we as a justice-seeking society are unwilling to provide these substances deemed illegal by the powers at be, crime will, as it always has been, be the supreme benefactor.

Our current approach of dealing with drugs and substance abuse has become totally illogical. We as a people have to understand that substance abuse will always be a universal part of humanity as it has for thousands of years; intoxicants have been around since the dawn of civilization and we were just as venerable to their affects as we are now. We may not like it, but to accept the issue instead of simply pushing it to the background with a negative label, will be our first step in finding a lasting resolution.

So let us take this theory hypothetically and say that we decide substance abuse is something we as a society want to confront head on. I think the closest example we can see this happening is the modern stance on tobacco, particularly cigarettes. The practise of consuming tobacco products has been accepted as a norm and even a positive throughout our history. However, in only a fraction of that time, we –at least in Canada or even BC- have pushed the overwhelmingly unhealthy practise of smoking tobacco to the nethermost region of social practises. HOWEVER (this is a big one) they are still legal to consume and are readily available at a multitude of retail outlets. So what was the key to such a drastic change in attitude? Education.

Since I was a kid, which was not too long ago for you older folk who may be reading, smoking was instilled into my peers and I as a harmful habit. From schooling came the media campaign depicting the almost certain affects smoking would have on an individual and subsequently, the regulation placed upon the tobacco industry in regards to the media outlets they are permitted to use to promote their products. After regulating how the tobacco conglomerates could represent their products through the media, further rulings were passed with regard to how tobacco products were labelled, which resulted in a direct line of communication that informed purchasers of the risks they took while consuming the products. Finally, smoking started and continues to be more restricted in places of public gathering. It is pretty easy to see that smoking and cigarettes were not taken from the public as a choice, but our particular society understood the pros and cons of their use and the practise became less popular. Accordingly, why can we not treat our currently negligent approach to drugs the same way?

One of the main reasons our society is weary about legalizing hard drugs has to be the fear of the “imminent” image of chaos in streets fuelled by a hallucinogen-influenced population. Crime rates will go through the roof and no one will be safe… DUN-DUN-DUUUNNN… Realistically, with the current availability of street drugs, not to mention the potency of drugs available behind the counter, that premonition should have happened years ago. Moreover, I am willing to bet that although the majority of you reading this right now are not hardcore drug users, your personal network within society will easily point you in the direction of where to find even the most intoxicating of substances for consumption. Therefore, a change of the outlet where people obtain these substances can not be expected to drastically alter our way of life. Legalization and regulation with a foundation of education could see the issue be completely managed by the lawful side of society which assumingly means you, dear reader, are included.

Now, there is no way one could expect a change like this to happen overnight. The amount of due diligence required to implement an approach like this will take an incredible amount of effort by many but is nonetheless within our capabilities. My personal idea of how this may work might come in the form of something like a dispensary -not unlike the medical marijuana outlets of today- and as the drugs purchased go up in the scale of possible harm to ones body, so would the regulation; say in amounts allotted and/or how much identification is to be rendered to the dispenser. Particulars aside, a legalization of drugs will take power from criminal heads and those they influence because one cannot rule out that criminals are more than likely trying to aid in continuing prohibition as they are the main profiteer. Legalization would also create a competition for the black market which would further drive criminal profits down. Additionally, regulation would most likely mean the taxation of these substances and with a society that demands the most out of their government in the form of social welfare, the more money the better.

Fortunately, I believe that this overall premise will become the popular stance our society will take within our generation; at least the most public ideology if it is not our attitude already. It can only be a matter of time before the old school are replaced by the new school, and so to the old school philosophies on illicit drugs. What has become blatantly obvious is that the current system is totally ineffective and more people are beginning to understand that. The fundamental idea here is that we as a society do not have to like the practise of consuming harmful drugs, ranging from those that are available on the shelf to those bought in the bowels of Vancouver’s Downtown East Side; but we do have to accept their consumption as being a real significant part of our society in order to begin to reduce the toll it takes on us. Either that is the case or we more or less leave things the way they are, and if that is our decision, all of us might as well be on drugs anyway.



Looking out for a Big Dave's Discount Drug Emporium, coming to a town near you,

Matias M. Barchman

Inebriated Thoughts, Volume One: The Universe is big and we are absolutely not.

These entries are based on discussions or thoughts had while there is nothing else to do but talk or think… I guess that defines “commentary for the sake of commentary”


Volume One: The Universe is big and we are absolutely not.


Logically speaking and bare with me, but how messed up is it when we look at our own significance in the grand scheme of everything; I am speaking of the Universe as a whole. Science has already established how far the cosmos extends and that notion itself is enough to make your thoughts go in circles faster than feedback at a rock concert.

To place us in perspective, we are a measly planet in a small solar system in a decent sized galaxy. This may bring some insight into how small we are as individuals, but remember that the Milky Way is a galaxy apart of a group whose numbers basically stretch into the infinites. From an omniscient point of view, we are not even a drop in the vast intergalactic ocean, so much as the spec of matter inside that drop; and even that spec would be our planet as a whole. Now from here, people would be inclined to discuss the questions about the reasons for our existence and even try to decipher where we fit in the grand scheme of things. I, however, do not feel like starting another novel on a topic so overly discussed with no real answer to provide. However, it is interesting to think that over our lifetimes we live at about the speed of half a blink in respect to the being of the entire Universe. Now if that is the case, how fast are we actually moving? After a quick Google search –all praise the all-knowing Google- the average human lives about 70 years on this planet. In comparison, the generally accepted age for the Earth and the rest of the solar system is about 4.55 billion years, plus or minus about 1%. Furthermore, the Universe is currently theorized to be about 13.75 (+/- 0.17) billion years old. This is the point that I find myself staring into nothing, totally overwhelmed by the speed my brain has to work at to try to contemplate the numbers and our part in the equation… Wow, I’m stopping here because in this case, ignorance truly is bliss.


Lost in a mental state of malarkey and hoping you are too,

Matias M. Barchman

Canada Day: The Best Holiday of the Year

For those of you closest to my heart, this post will come as no shock by any means, but I figured in the least it might serve as some motivation to get you amped up for this and future July 1st’s.

Here is a brief history of Canada Day courtesy of Wikipedia.org:

“Canada Day, formerly Dominion Day, is Canada's national day, a federal statutory holiday celebrating the anniversary of the July 1, 1867, enactment of the British North America Act (today called the Constitution Act, 1867), which united two British colonies and a province of the British Empire into a single country called Canada.”

Now you got some history and if you are still interested in hearing more history… well, do the research.

Most important, Canada Day is the best day of the year based on how we celebrate and in comparison, the other federal statutory holidays of the year always seem to have some sort of drawback. Here is a list of the other Canadian National Holiday’s and why they fall short of having the goods to make the #1 spot:

New Years Eve/Day- A time to start the year off fresh, make resolutions in vain, dress up and party with friends/family. The drawback? New Years Eve is only a great party if the planning and effort are there to have a suitable venue and turn-out. The pressure to celebrate NYE as tremendous as possible has often lead to expectations not meeting outcome. Combine that notion with the fact that winter will more than likely keep the party indoors and you are left with little room for overwhelming success. When it works out, this is a great holiday for all but when it does not, New Years Day feels like a Sunday subsequent to a disappointing Friday/Saturday night.

Good Friday- Everyone loves a three-day weekend –maybe even four if you are lucky enough to have Easter Monday off- but besides the traditional family dinner, it is just another long weekend. Minus even more points if you get stuck in church.

Labour Day- Hey everyone! Summer’s over and its time to go back to work! Here’s a holiday though! …Thanks.

Thanksgiving- A day to spend time with family and give thanks by consuming more food than you probably should have. Thanks for the great food, but now I am too tired to move.

Remembrance Day- A day to remember those who have sacrificed their lives to protect our way of living. A proud day for all Canadians who will celebrate with dignity and respect.

Christmas Day- This will be Canada Day’s ultimate rival for holiday supremacy and the jury will remain out for where most of you stand on the subject. Ultimately, Christmas time is a time to celebrate the cold of winter coming to an end, the nights becoming shorter and the days longer (the winter solstice is synonymous with religious holiday worldwide). We get together with friends and family, exchange gifts and spread holiday cheer… most of the time. More often than not, I have witnessed the Christmas season as a very stressful time of year for people. The pressure of gift giving, hosting gatherings (all you moms out there know what I am talking about) ,winter-living and meeting the annual expectations of consumerism that media outlets pound into us, has an ever growing collective of people inclined to head for warmer climates saying, “no thanks”. Christmas is a great time of year to get together and have a great time, but it falls short and takes the #2 spot.

So here we are, only one more day left to discuss and the anticipation to deliver on the notion as to why Canada Day trumps the rest of this country’s holidays. Essentially, Canada Day is awesome because of its lack of expectations, welcoming celebrations, vitamin D rich weather and the simple motivation to celebrate the birth of one of the world’s greatest countries. Canada Day epitomizes everything magnificent about being Canadian: our inclusiveness towards others, love for our nation and love to party. No matter where you are in the second largest country in the world, people are celebrating this day and want you to join in the festivities (beware if you are not dressed in your red and white attire, you will have no choice but to don the leftovers of the Canadian trinkets bought that morning at the dollar store). The point is, Canada Day is a happy day to celebrate all things Canadian and we want everyone to join in with the rest of us! It does not matter how you celebrate, just being outside with a cold beer will make the majority of Canadians grin from ear to ear. Others, however, will do less or much more (as in my case every year) and all is deemed more than acceptable. In the end, it is hard to find any drawbacks for Canada Day and even harder to find any accompanying stressors.

In conclusion, I consider Canada Day to be my favourite day of the year (if you haven’t guessed that already); better than all the other holidays and even my own birthday. Canada Day is too easy to love and too hard to hate. With that being said I wish all of you the best July 1st and know that it will be hard for you to be disappointed even with minimal effort. If you are like me and go 110% for this holiday, well then I don’t need to tell you to have a great day, you get excited just saying the day’s name. Be safe, have fun and enjoy each others company!


With “Old Beauty” over one shoulder, Canadian in hand and wishing the best for all his fellow True, North, Strong and Free…

HAPPY CANADA DAY YOU BEAUTIES!!!



Matias M. Barchman

Things I hate about certain sports: No Video Replay in Soccer

Out of all the major sports that dominate the globe, soccer is the only one that refuses to use video replay. How many times have fans witnessed time and time again, calls go the wrong way and the video replay available for the entire world to see over, and over, and over. There are too many occasions where calls by soccer referees are so horribly wrong and the consequences much too high. Why should any team, in the right, be punished for a mistake that could be easily reversed with a simple review? After a quick internet search, arguments against can be summed up to the fact it slows the game and because a referee is human, errors are expected, and therefore fair to cope with. What horseshit. Without even considering all the club teams around the world, international play suffers the worst from this absurdity. Countries waiting four years between World Cups have been screwed over time and time again because of FIFA’s refusal to enter the 21st century. Here’s a blatant fact: people are killed or injured over the happenings within soccer games more than any other sport on the planet. A clear passion like that over results, more than justifies the progression to video technology within a soccer match’s governing bodies. If game speed is the question, do as ice hockey does –a sport with one of the most sophisticated video replay systems in existence- and have a designated group of people at every match ready to review goals; in the Olympics, the IIHF made a rule that all goals are automatically reviewed just to be safe. Furthermore, the pressure placed on three on-field referees (sometimes accompanied by a fourth on the sidelines) is too much to ask of any group of people no matter the extent of their experience with the game. It is a fact that erroneous calls made by referees have laid claim to some of their lives and careers; the implementation of video replay correction would be a sure way to improve their chances of avoiding this. In the end, FIFA is not simply fighting a small group of people who want to see their game evolve and become more efficient; further internet research reveals that the majority of people agree that soccer needs to update how games are managed and video replay is that next major step. We may not get to the diving issue yet, but FIFA is easily within its power to stop the effects of missed calls in top-flight soccer the world entirely. Hey, FIFA, figure it out.



Begrudgingly waiting for another team to be screwed over (because we all know it’s just a matter of time),

Matias M. Barchman

Talking it out: The Art of Friendship Negotiation

All of us have friends we count on, admire, relate with and even fight with. I believe friendships gone awry by unresolved arguments and petty differences are some of the most preventative occurrences people have occur in their lives. Don’t worry all you friends of mine out there, this entry is not about anyone in particular; to be honest, the motivation for this post came from how impressed I was after a friend and I got into a heated argument that could have been potentially “friendship-threatening” but ended with us caring no less or more for each other than beforehand. What it came down to was our ability to “talk it out” - our ability to sit down, yell and scream our heads off if need be, yet come to a compromised agreement. In my social circle, it seems that this is often not the case for whatever reason and it is a shame to see the results of a standoff driven by pride of opinion.

I am an opinionated person and take pride in being argumentative. Growing up there were a lot of fights about who was right between my friends and I; some battles I won, some I lost, even if I refused to believe it. However, after a lengthy post-secondary career in college and university, I came to appreciate the results of open-minded debate especially when it came to the preservation of friendship. Here is a break down of what I think the keys are for verbally fighting with friends and coming out with your friendship intact:

Firstly, step up and talk about the issue. Usually the make or break of resolving any personal issue with someone is taking the initiative to talk about it in the first place. I would argue for the most part that people are anti-confrontational and unfortunately this could be a hindrance in beginning the restorative process. Furthermore, relax as best you can because no good resolution ever came of an argument on the brink of fists being thrown. Sit down and breathe. Its time to talk it out.

At the forefront: respect. You are not talking to make things worse or attack integrity; you are trying to come to a compromise. In the end, there should not be any “winners” or “losers”; consensus is what counts. Additionally, remember you are friends to begin with and for a reason, so even if your counterpart is telling you something that you think is completely asinine, keep in mind that this person is still your buddy (for the most part anyway) and listen to what they have to say.

Next, get it all out there. Like any good debate, throw out exactly what your issue is and do not “beat around the bush”. One has to be completely honest with precisely what it is they have a problem with because that is the only way everyone involved will ever be able to come to terms with it. Furthermore, as friends, people need to be honest with each other and that is what good friends do: they trust that they will not be personally ridiculed because of something they believe. Sure they can be disagreed with, prodded, made fun of, laughed at, etc. but in the end, if it is something they have strong feelings for, no one is going to change that so it should be accepted. You may be friends but you are not the same person.

Subsequently, take turns and listen. This was one of my biggest problems. Whatever your friend(s) have to say, let them say it and do not interrupt until they are finished (you may have to ask, but make sure they are finished their point). If need be, make the point-counterpoint discussion that rudimentary and it will be hard to go wrong. Jumping the gun and attacking a point before the person even has a chance to finish only leads to tangents and more time wasted momentarily hating each other.

Speaking of tangents, stay on topic. Disputes between friends often lead to a regurgitation of arguments past and opening up old wounds. Unless the subject matter is completely relevant and you can keep it brief, keep the main issue the priority and at the forefront; bringing up something that was supposed to be resolved and forgotten or starting to argue about the minor details does not get the pressing issue settled. At times, the little stuff has to be left at an “agree to disagree” in order to keep things moving along and tightening the gap towards a solution.

Most importantly, understand that all parties are probably not going to get the result they were looking for. Look, you are clearly up in arms over something that is hard to be, or will never be, completely agreed upon. Why else would a quarrel become so heated? However, for the sake of your friendship and sanity, COMPRIMISE. I am not sure how many times I have had to beat this notion into my brain and I can tell you that this is probably the hardest part to accept. However, I can also say that I have been the most happy when all parties go away satisfied and everyone can still call themselves friends.

To conclude, this may seem like an overly simple solution to handling a hot issue you and your friends are debating over but frankly, most issues do not get resolved because the preliminary step is never taken to begin with; that is, talking about it in the first place. Silence is the ultimate killer between disputing friends and an abundance of time will not help when you basically have to start where you left off. Its time we as a people start resolving our personal issues we have with each other, especially if it is relatively small in the entire scheme of things. Comraderie and friendship are invaluable commodities in this world and as our generation becomes the foundation for our future, it is the trivial disagreements that go unresolved that lead to the “bad blood” and hindrances to a progressive tomorrow.


Confronting you with love,

Matias M. Barchman

Things I hate about certain sports: Retaliation for Clean Hits in the NHL and Music During NLL Games

There are a few things that have come up in discussions with friends that had me thinking about certain aspects of sports. I’m sure this will be the first of a handful of installments to be developed as they come up.


The National Hockey League: Retaliation for legitimate hits

I hate how legitimate hits have become the new instigator for retaliation in hockey. As a competitor in full-contact team sports, I believe blatant cheap-shots and attempts to injure or dismay players with physical brutality has always warranted team toughness; whether that means dropping the gloves to fight or applying a more physical presence, I have no quarrel with a team refusing to be bullied. However, it seems that any highlight of physical play, clean or dirty, is starting to become the justification for retaliation by teams across the NHL. Now, remember this discussion is outside of the realm of head-hunting hits or attempts to injure; I am purely focusing on good, clean contact whether the result leaves the player on the receiving end in good health or not. Hockey players in the NHL have acclimatized themselves to an environment where physical contact is the norm and it does not matter if one is a superstar goal scorer or physical enforcer. This idea has to take precedence next time a team feels cheated because their leading point-getter had his head down in the neutral-zone resulting in his bell being severely –but cleanly- rung.

Retaliation for good physical plays only looks like a team or individual is unable to cope with the mentality of tough hockey, something that has drastically been reduced by officiating since about the 1990’s. However, not all is lost. One cannot help but be inspired when the two best players in the NHL (Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin) bring their physical play to the game and show that the best players must have considerable ability in this characteristic of hockey to be considered well-rounded; Crosby’s willingness to fight when it is warranted and Ovechkin’s highlight reel hits send a great message to the fans of hockey when it comes to how to best implement physicality in the game. Having the status these players have and being able to dish out exactly what they are expected to take game after game, has to be understood universally throughout the sport of hockey. Anything less, such as players or teams who do not like to see their teammates involved in hard physical play, should not be tolerated and even labeled as ‘heartless’. Hitting and fighting in hockey is here to stay because they are tools of strategy utilized throughout the game; players unwilling to man-up and accept that they may one day be caught dealing with these strategies is ultimately kidding themselves and unworthy of protection.



The National Lacrosse League: Music during games

I hate how the National Lacrosse League has made it standard practice to play music in the background during games. For those of you unfamiliar with professional indoor lacrosse, a quick visit to YouTube should provide for a quick tutorial. The fact that professional indoor lacrosse is a relatively new sport in the conglomerate of professional sports seen around the world, people need to learn how the game works in order for them to enjoy its full potential. What does not help, is a playlist of music going on while fans and players are trying to focus on game play. I have worked as the music jockey for some high profile lacrosse games and implemented the same principles used in hockey games; associate a song’s emotion with the emotion of the current situation in the game as to keep the crowd in tune, but once play is underway let the focus be entirely on the game itself. It seems that the NLL is so concerned with fans being less than entertained by a game considered by many as one of the best spectator sports in the world, they thought an atmosphere familiar to a waiting room would be the best way to insure the ticket-buyer is getting the best value for their patronage.

Music during the play of professional lacrosse only cheapens the experience for fans and provides a further obstacle to people learning the first game that united Canada in sport. The easier a sport is to focus on, the easier it is to learn; the more known about a sport, the more the little nuances become valued and therefore the mechanics of the game become that much more appreciated. The NLL needs to stop worrying about its fan’s possible lack of amusement and let the game itself become the unquestioned epicenter for their entertainment without the bells and whistles. Obviously, professional sports are about drawing fans and making money, and one cannot do that without providing the most entertainment possible. However, when professional entertainers –because in the end, that is what all professional sporting entities are- cheapen their showcase performance by diluting it with anything they think will appease their audience, that same audience begins to lose respect for the very “sport” they have come to the arena to enjoy.



Keeping his head up and music down,

Matias M. Barchman