Inebriated Thoughts Volume 2: The Drive, Old Friends Turned Contagious Dreamers, and Poutine Pizza

This post was inspired by an actual piece wrote at the tail-end of a great night out visiting an old friend on Commercial Drive. I would have posted it right away, but thankfully I had the surprisingly sober forethought to give myself a chance at making it a little more coherent first.



Imagine God, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Moses, and Ganesh got together and had a baby; now imagine that baby's fate was to make pizza and come up with the perfect flavor. The glory of this divine entity's creation would be Poutine Pizza with Montreal Smoked Meat. Tonight I had the mind-blowing experience of tasting the closest thing to heaven any Canadian would dream of, next to getting a few more Stanley Cups.

My friend and I journeyed to Commercial Drive tonight to visit an old friend from high school; a musician and one of Vancouver's up and coming who's who. We met at his home, a detached garage turned rustic departure, perfect for the musically ingenious and confidently optimistic.

In true Vancouver fashion, we indulged in a few pints and puffs and made our way to grab a quick bite to eat before the night really began. We walked a few blocks to indulge at a popular local eatery, known for its live music and homemade sausage. To add to the occasion, another friend from high-school and music artist to boot (apparently my hometown is big into developing the musically gifted) came to share a pitcher before taking off to a gig he would be committed to for the night. After a delicious meal, catching up and discussing the intricacies of life, my friend and I took off with our guide for the evening with plans of more inebriated nostalgia.

Our trio hopped on the 99B-Line towards Main-Street. The plan was to meet with our friend's girlfriend and let the night dictate itself. We stepped off the 'ol Trans-Link accordion at our destination and didn't make it more than 500 meters before low and behold, we bump into our artists' girlfriend and her posse of female accomplices. After being thoroughly impressed by the low-brow beer the girls were indulging in, they led us to the lounge they were planning on meeting us at; a comfortable hole in the wall, complete with unfinished carpentry and pluming, about 50 feet back the way we came.

After a few pitchers and getting to know the friendly faces of East Van, the girls decided to make an early night of it so us boys were left to come up with the next goal in the night to keep the overwhelming positivity of friendship reunion and lack of sobriety alive. Our artist informed us of a pizza we had to try, something him and another high school friend experienced not too long ago at a pizzeria not far from home. There is no way I would have thought that a concept as simple as a pizza would have me up at 3:26am, typing away on a computer while my artist friend is passed out on the bed 10 feet away; inspiration, you certainly pick your moments.

After stumbling back to our original meeting grounds, we decided that adding a little more intoxication to our diet was in order before making the three block walk towards the pizzeria that was to forever change my life. Arriving at our stereotypically Vancouver pizza-eatery, our artist friend confidently placed the less than ordinary order and it was received by a gentleman who was clearly meant to be in the business of pizzas. His Mediterranean accent informed us that our pizza was minutes away and we should make ourselves at home. After killing time with drunk dials, night recaps and anticipation, salvation was delivered as we were served a dish forever to be known in Canadian folklore.

The Montreal Smoked Meat Poutine Pizza, is a dish I will never experience the way I did this night. Culminating a night visiting old friends and the culture-rich neighbourhood they call home, the Poutine Pizza is something I implore any fellow Vancouverite (that is, all you apart of the GVRD) to experience for themselves; for those of you thinking the West Coast produces the least Canadian culture in the country, one bite of this pizza will send you back to Montreal like Paul Revere warning about the invasion of the British.

In the end, this post was truly an inebriated moment inspired by a place almost limitless in its thought process and imagination. Commercial drive and its friendly inhabitants seem to emit an energy felt by all those that visit; a feeling that can cry for unbounded creativity especially when combined with your personal outlet. All one needs is a garage turned studio apartment and Poutine Pizza... don't' forget the Montreal Smoked Meat.


Happy to finally justify passing out,

Matias M. Barchman



Brados on Commercial's Poutine Pizza with Montreal Smoked Meat. Just go have it. You'll understand.

Treat Drugs like Cigarettes!

An old friend and I were discussing the never-ending debate on our government and its stance on intoxicants, mainly “drugs”. We came up with an interesting theory about comparing drugs to cigarettes and how our society has naturally made the practise of smoking tobacco taboo. Society in general is relatively smart and it is not hard to see that a practise where the cons outweigh the pros is usually met with a following of the few and not the many. In other words, society seems to naturally weed out its own negative practises for the betterment of humanity; this can be related to all life and the basic premise that survival of the species and its prosperity are always priority.

The consumption of drugs has undoubtedly become a health issue and not a criminal one. Substance abuse has become the backbone of the drug industry making the criminal fight of their prohibition basically impossible; how can any governing body prevent access to any substance with such a high demand? There in itself we see a major problem to the traditional approach to the fight against substance abuse. As the demand for illicit drugs stays high, basic economics reaffirms that there will exist a supply to match, and if we as a justice-seeking society are unwilling to provide these substances deemed illegal by the powers at be, crime will, as it always has been, be the supreme benefactor.

Our current approach of dealing with drugs and substance abuse has become totally illogical. We as a people have to understand that substance abuse will always be a universal part of humanity as it has for thousands of years; intoxicants have been around since the dawn of civilization and we were just as venerable to their affects as we are now. We may not like it, but to accept the issue instead of simply pushing it to the background with a negative label, will be our first step in finding a lasting resolution.

So let us take this theory hypothetically and say that we decide substance abuse is something we as a society want to confront head on. I think the closest example we can see this happening is the modern stance on tobacco, particularly cigarettes. The practise of consuming tobacco products has been accepted as a norm and even a positive throughout our history. However, in only a fraction of that time, we –at least in Canada or even BC- have pushed the overwhelmingly unhealthy practise of smoking tobacco to the nethermost region of social practises. HOWEVER (this is a big one) they are still legal to consume and are readily available at a multitude of retail outlets. So what was the key to such a drastic change in attitude? Education.

Since I was a kid, which was not too long ago for you older folk who may be reading, smoking was instilled into my peers and I as a harmful habit. From schooling came the media campaign depicting the almost certain affects smoking would have on an individual and subsequently, the regulation placed upon the tobacco industry in regards to the media outlets they are permitted to use to promote their products. After regulating how the tobacco conglomerates could represent their products through the media, further rulings were passed with regard to how tobacco products were labelled, which resulted in a direct line of communication that informed purchasers of the risks they took while consuming the products. Finally, smoking started and continues to be more restricted in places of public gathering. It is pretty easy to see that smoking and cigarettes were not taken from the public as a choice, but our particular society understood the pros and cons of their use and the practise became less popular. Accordingly, why can we not treat our currently negligent approach to drugs the same way?

One of the main reasons our society is weary about legalizing hard drugs has to be the fear of the “imminent” image of chaos in streets fuelled by a hallucinogen-influenced population. Crime rates will go through the roof and no one will be safe… DUN-DUN-DUUUNNN… Realistically, with the current availability of street drugs, not to mention the potency of drugs available behind the counter, that premonition should have happened years ago. Moreover, I am willing to bet that although the majority of you reading this right now are not hardcore drug users, your personal network within society will easily point you in the direction of where to find even the most intoxicating of substances for consumption. Therefore, a change of the outlet where people obtain these substances can not be expected to drastically alter our way of life. Legalization and regulation with a foundation of education could see the issue be completely managed by the lawful side of society which assumingly means you, dear reader, are included.

Now, there is no way one could expect a change like this to happen overnight. The amount of due diligence required to implement an approach like this will take an incredible amount of effort by many but is nonetheless within our capabilities. My personal idea of how this may work might come in the form of something like a dispensary -not unlike the medical marijuana outlets of today- and as the drugs purchased go up in the scale of possible harm to ones body, so would the regulation; say in amounts allotted and/or how much identification is to be rendered to the dispenser. Particulars aside, a legalization of drugs will take power from criminal heads and those they influence because one cannot rule out that criminals are more than likely trying to aid in continuing prohibition as they are the main profiteer. Legalization would also create a competition for the black market which would further drive criminal profits down. Additionally, regulation would most likely mean the taxation of these substances and with a society that demands the most out of their government in the form of social welfare, the more money the better.

Fortunately, I believe that this overall premise will become the popular stance our society will take within our generation; at least the most public ideology if it is not our attitude already. It can only be a matter of time before the old school are replaced by the new school, and so to the old school philosophies on illicit drugs. What has become blatantly obvious is that the current system is totally ineffective and more people are beginning to understand that. The fundamental idea here is that we as a society do not have to like the practise of consuming harmful drugs, ranging from those that are available on the shelf to those bought in the bowels of Vancouver’s Downtown East Side; but we do have to accept their consumption as being a real significant part of our society in order to begin to reduce the toll it takes on us. Either that is the case or we more or less leave things the way they are, and if that is our decision, all of us might as well be on drugs anyway.



Looking out for a Big Dave's Discount Drug Emporium, coming to a town near you,

Matias M. Barchman

Inebriated Thoughts, Volume One: The Universe is big and we are absolutely not.

These entries are based on discussions or thoughts had while there is nothing else to do but talk or think… I guess that defines “commentary for the sake of commentary”


Volume One: The Universe is big and we are absolutely not.


Logically speaking and bare with me, but how messed up is it when we look at our own significance in the grand scheme of everything; I am speaking of the Universe as a whole. Science has already established how far the cosmos extends and that notion itself is enough to make your thoughts go in circles faster than feedback at a rock concert.

To place us in perspective, we are a measly planet in a small solar system in a decent sized galaxy. This may bring some insight into how small we are as individuals, but remember that the Milky Way is a galaxy apart of a group whose numbers basically stretch into the infinites. From an omniscient point of view, we are not even a drop in the vast intergalactic ocean, so much as the spec of matter inside that drop; and even that spec would be our planet as a whole. Now from here, people would be inclined to discuss the questions about the reasons for our existence and even try to decipher where we fit in the grand scheme of things. I, however, do not feel like starting another novel on a topic so overly discussed with no real answer to provide. However, it is interesting to think that over our lifetimes we live at about the speed of half a blink in respect to the being of the entire Universe. Now if that is the case, how fast are we actually moving? After a quick Google search –all praise the all-knowing Google- the average human lives about 70 years on this planet. In comparison, the generally accepted age for the Earth and the rest of the solar system is about 4.55 billion years, plus or minus about 1%. Furthermore, the Universe is currently theorized to be about 13.75 (+/- 0.17) billion years old. This is the point that I find myself staring into nothing, totally overwhelmed by the speed my brain has to work at to try to contemplate the numbers and our part in the equation… Wow, I’m stopping here because in this case, ignorance truly is bliss.


Lost in a mental state of malarkey and hoping you are too,

Matias M. Barchman

Canada Day: The Best Holiday of the Year

For those of you closest to my heart, this post will come as no shock by any means, but I figured in the least it might serve as some motivation to get you amped up for this and future July 1st’s.

Here is a brief history of Canada Day courtesy of Wikipedia.org:

“Canada Day, formerly Dominion Day, is Canada's national day, a federal statutory holiday celebrating the anniversary of the July 1, 1867, enactment of the British North America Act (today called the Constitution Act, 1867), which united two British colonies and a province of the British Empire into a single country called Canada.”

Now you got some history and if you are still interested in hearing more history… well, do the research.

Most important, Canada Day is the best day of the year based on how we celebrate and in comparison, the other federal statutory holidays of the year always seem to have some sort of drawback. Here is a list of the other Canadian National Holiday’s and why they fall short of having the goods to make the #1 spot:

New Years Eve/Day- A time to start the year off fresh, make resolutions in vain, dress up and party with friends/family. The drawback? New Years Eve is only a great party if the planning and effort are there to have a suitable venue and turn-out. The pressure to celebrate NYE as tremendous as possible has often lead to expectations not meeting outcome. Combine that notion with the fact that winter will more than likely keep the party indoors and you are left with little room for overwhelming success. When it works out, this is a great holiday for all but when it does not, New Years Day feels like a Sunday subsequent to a disappointing Friday/Saturday night.

Good Friday- Everyone loves a three-day weekend –maybe even four if you are lucky enough to have Easter Monday off- but besides the traditional family dinner, it is just another long weekend. Minus even more points if you get stuck in church.

Labour Day- Hey everyone! Summer’s over and its time to go back to work! Here’s a holiday though! …Thanks.

Thanksgiving- A day to spend time with family and give thanks by consuming more food than you probably should have. Thanks for the great food, but now I am too tired to move.

Remembrance Day- A day to remember those who have sacrificed their lives to protect our way of living. A proud day for all Canadians who will celebrate with dignity and respect.

Christmas Day- This will be Canada Day’s ultimate rival for holiday supremacy and the jury will remain out for where most of you stand on the subject. Ultimately, Christmas time is a time to celebrate the cold of winter coming to an end, the nights becoming shorter and the days longer (the winter solstice is synonymous with religious holiday worldwide). We get together with friends and family, exchange gifts and spread holiday cheer… most of the time. More often than not, I have witnessed the Christmas season as a very stressful time of year for people. The pressure of gift giving, hosting gatherings (all you moms out there know what I am talking about) ,winter-living and meeting the annual expectations of consumerism that media outlets pound into us, has an ever growing collective of people inclined to head for warmer climates saying, “no thanks”. Christmas is a great time of year to get together and have a great time, but it falls short and takes the #2 spot.

So here we are, only one more day left to discuss and the anticipation to deliver on the notion as to why Canada Day trumps the rest of this country’s holidays. Essentially, Canada Day is awesome because of its lack of expectations, welcoming celebrations, vitamin D rich weather and the simple motivation to celebrate the birth of one of the world’s greatest countries. Canada Day epitomizes everything magnificent about being Canadian: our inclusiveness towards others, love for our nation and love to party. No matter where you are in the second largest country in the world, people are celebrating this day and want you to join in the festivities (beware if you are not dressed in your red and white attire, you will have no choice but to don the leftovers of the Canadian trinkets bought that morning at the dollar store). The point is, Canada Day is a happy day to celebrate all things Canadian and we want everyone to join in with the rest of us! It does not matter how you celebrate, just being outside with a cold beer will make the majority of Canadians grin from ear to ear. Others, however, will do less or much more (as in my case every year) and all is deemed more than acceptable. In the end, it is hard to find any drawbacks for Canada Day and even harder to find any accompanying stressors.

In conclusion, I consider Canada Day to be my favourite day of the year (if you haven’t guessed that already); better than all the other holidays and even my own birthday. Canada Day is too easy to love and too hard to hate. With that being said I wish all of you the best July 1st and know that it will be hard for you to be disappointed even with minimal effort. If you are like me and go 110% for this holiday, well then I don’t need to tell you to have a great day, you get excited just saying the day’s name. Be safe, have fun and enjoy each others company!


With “Old Beauty” over one shoulder, Canadian in hand and wishing the best for all his fellow True, North, Strong and Free…

HAPPY CANADA DAY YOU BEAUTIES!!!



Matias M. Barchman

Things I hate about certain sports: No Video Replay in Soccer

Out of all the major sports that dominate the globe, soccer is the only one that refuses to use video replay. How many times have fans witnessed time and time again, calls go the wrong way and the video replay available for the entire world to see over, and over, and over. There are too many occasions where calls by soccer referees are so horribly wrong and the consequences much too high. Why should any team, in the right, be punished for a mistake that could be easily reversed with a simple review? After a quick internet search, arguments against can be summed up to the fact it slows the game and because a referee is human, errors are expected, and therefore fair to cope with. What horseshit. Without even considering all the club teams around the world, international play suffers the worst from this absurdity. Countries waiting four years between World Cups have been screwed over time and time again because of FIFA’s refusal to enter the 21st century. Here’s a blatant fact: people are killed or injured over the happenings within soccer games more than any other sport on the planet. A clear passion like that over results, more than justifies the progression to video technology within a soccer match’s governing bodies. If game speed is the question, do as ice hockey does –a sport with one of the most sophisticated video replay systems in existence- and have a designated group of people at every match ready to review goals; in the Olympics, the IIHF made a rule that all goals are automatically reviewed just to be safe. Furthermore, the pressure placed on three on-field referees (sometimes accompanied by a fourth on the sidelines) is too much to ask of any group of people no matter the extent of their experience with the game. It is a fact that erroneous calls made by referees have laid claim to some of their lives and careers; the implementation of video replay correction would be a sure way to improve their chances of avoiding this. In the end, FIFA is not simply fighting a small group of people who want to see their game evolve and become more efficient; further internet research reveals that the majority of people agree that soccer needs to update how games are managed and video replay is that next major step. We may not get to the diving issue yet, but FIFA is easily within its power to stop the effects of missed calls in top-flight soccer the world entirely. Hey, FIFA, figure it out.



Begrudgingly waiting for another team to be screwed over (because we all know it’s just a matter of time),

Matias M. Barchman

Talking it out: The Art of Friendship Negotiation

All of us have friends we count on, admire, relate with and even fight with. I believe friendships gone awry by unresolved arguments and petty differences are some of the most preventative occurrences people have occur in their lives. Don’t worry all you friends of mine out there, this entry is not about anyone in particular; to be honest, the motivation for this post came from how impressed I was after a friend and I got into a heated argument that could have been potentially “friendship-threatening” but ended with us caring no less or more for each other than beforehand. What it came down to was our ability to “talk it out” - our ability to sit down, yell and scream our heads off if need be, yet come to a compromised agreement. In my social circle, it seems that this is often not the case for whatever reason and it is a shame to see the results of a standoff driven by pride of opinion.

I am an opinionated person and take pride in being argumentative. Growing up there were a lot of fights about who was right between my friends and I; some battles I won, some I lost, even if I refused to believe it. However, after a lengthy post-secondary career in college and university, I came to appreciate the results of open-minded debate especially when it came to the preservation of friendship. Here is a break down of what I think the keys are for verbally fighting with friends and coming out with your friendship intact:

Firstly, step up and talk about the issue. Usually the make or break of resolving any personal issue with someone is taking the initiative to talk about it in the first place. I would argue for the most part that people are anti-confrontational and unfortunately this could be a hindrance in beginning the restorative process. Furthermore, relax as best you can because no good resolution ever came of an argument on the brink of fists being thrown. Sit down and breathe. Its time to talk it out.

At the forefront: respect. You are not talking to make things worse or attack integrity; you are trying to come to a compromise. In the end, there should not be any “winners” or “losers”; consensus is what counts. Additionally, remember you are friends to begin with and for a reason, so even if your counterpart is telling you something that you think is completely asinine, keep in mind that this person is still your buddy (for the most part anyway) and listen to what they have to say.

Next, get it all out there. Like any good debate, throw out exactly what your issue is and do not “beat around the bush”. One has to be completely honest with precisely what it is they have a problem with because that is the only way everyone involved will ever be able to come to terms with it. Furthermore, as friends, people need to be honest with each other and that is what good friends do: they trust that they will not be personally ridiculed because of something they believe. Sure they can be disagreed with, prodded, made fun of, laughed at, etc. but in the end, if it is something they have strong feelings for, no one is going to change that so it should be accepted. You may be friends but you are not the same person.

Subsequently, take turns and listen. This was one of my biggest problems. Whatever your friend(s) have to say, let them say it and do not interrupt until they are finished (you may have to ask, but make sure they are finished their point). If need be, make the point-counterpoint discussion that rudimentary and it will be hard to go wrong. Jumping the gun and attacking a point before the person even has a chance to finish only leads to tangents and more time wasted momentarily hating each other.

Speaking of tangents, stay on topic. Disputes between friends often lead to a regurgitation of arguments past and opening up old wounds. Unless the subject matter is completely relevant and you can keep it brief, keep the main issue the priority and at the forefront; bringing up something that was supposed to be resolved and forgotten or starting to argue about the minor details does not get the pressing issue settled. At times, the little stuff has to be left at an “agree to disagree” in order to keep things moving along and tightening the gap towards a solution.

Most importantly, understand that all parties are probably not going to get the result they were looking for. Look, you are clearly up in arms over something that is hard to be, or will never be, completely agreed upon. Why else would a quarrel become so heated? However, for the sake of your friendship and sanity, COMPRIMISE. I am not sure how many times I have had to beat this notion into my brain and I can tell you that this is probably the hardest part to accept. However, I can also say that I have been the most happy when all parties go away satisfied and everyone can still call themselves friends.

To conclude, this may seem like an overly simple solution to handling a hot issue you and your friends are debating over but frankly, most issues do not get resolved because the preliminary step is never taken to begin with; that is, talking about it in the first place. Silence is the ultimate killer between disputing friends and an abundance of time will not help when you basically have to start where you left off. Its time we as a people start resolving our personal issues we have with each other, especially if it is relatively small in the entire scheme of things. Comraderie and friendship are invaluable commodities in this world and as our generation becomes the foundation for our future, it is the trivial disagreements that go unresolved that lead to the “bad blood” and hindrances to a progressive tomorrow.


Confronting you with love,

Matias M. Barchman

Things I hate about certain sports: Retaliation for Clean Hits in the NHL and Music During NLL Games

There are a few things that have come up in discussions with friends that had me thinking about certain aspects of sports. I’m sure this will be the first of a handful of installments to be developed as they come up.


The National Hockey League: Retaliation for legitimate hits

I hate how legitimate hits have become the new instigator for retaliation in hockey. As a competitor in full-contact team sports, I believe blatant cheap-shots and attempts to injure or dismay players with physical brutality has always warranted team toughness; whether that means dropping the gloves to fight or applying a more physical presence, I have no quarrel with a team refusing to be bullied. However, it seems that any highlight of physical play, clean or dirty, is starting to become the justification for retaliation by teams across the NHL. Now, remember this discussion is outside of the realm of head-hunting hits or attempts to injure; I am purely focusing on good, clean contact whether the result leaves the player on the receiving end in good health or not. Hockey players in the NHL have acclimatized themselves to an environment where physical contact is the norm and it does not matter if one is a superstar goal scorer or physical enforcer. This idea has to take precedence next time a team feels cheated because their leading point-getter had his head down in the neutral-zone resulting in his bell being severely –but cleanly- rung.

Retaliation for good physical plays only looks like a team or individual is unable to cope with the mentality of tough hockey, something that has drastically been reduced by officiating since about the 1990’s. However, not all is lost. One cannot help but be inspired when the two best players in the NHL (Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin) bring their physical play to the game and show that the best players must have considerable ability in this characteristic of hockey to be considered well-rounded; Crosby’s willingness to fight when it is warranted and Ovechkin’s highlight reel hits send a great message to the fans of hockey when it comes to how to best implement physicality in the game. Having the status these players have and being able to dish out exactly what they are expected to take game after game, has to be understood universally throughout the sport of hockey. Anything less, such as players or teams who do not like to see their teammates involved in hard physical play, should not be tolerated and even labeled as ‘heartless’. Hitting and fighting in hockey is here to stay because they are tools of strategy utilized throughout the game; players unwilling to man-up and accept that they may one day be caught dealing with these strategies is ultimately kidding themselves and unworthy of protection.



The National Lacrosse League: Music during games

I hate how the National Lacrosse League has made it standard practice to play music in the background during games. For those of you unfamiliar with professional indoor lacrosse, a quick visit to YouTube should provide for a quick tutorial. The fact that professional indoor lacrosse is a relatively new sport in the conglomerate of professional sports seen around the world, people need to learn how the game works in order for them to enjoy its full potential. What does not help, is a playlist of music going on while fans and players are trying to focus on game play. I have worked as the music jockey for some high profile lacrosse games and implemented the same principles used in hockey games; associate a song’s emotion with the emotion of the current situation in the game as to keep the crowd in tune, but once play is underway let the focus be entirely on the game itself. It seems that the NLL is so concerned with fans being less than entertained by a game considered by many as one of the best spectator sports in the world, they thought an atmosphere familiar to a waiting room would be the best way to insure the ticket-buyer is getting the best value for their patronage.

Music during the play of professional lacrosse only cheapens the experience for fans and provides a further obstacle to people learning the first game that united Canada in sport. The easier a sport is to focus on, the easier it is to learn; the more known about a sport, the more the little nuances become valued and therefore the mechanics of the game become that much more appreciated. The NLL needs to stop worrying about its fan’s possible lack of amusement and let the game itself become the unquestioned epicenter for their entertainment without the bells and whistles. Obviously, professional sports are about drawing fans and making money, and one cannot do that without providing the most entertainment possible. However, when professional entertainers –because in the end, that is what all professional sporting entities are- cheapen their showcase performance by diluting it with anything they think will appease their audience, that same audience begins to lose respect for the very “sport” they have come to the arena to enjoy.



Keeping his head up and music down,

Matias M. Barchman

The Science of Good Sex

I’m no love guru. I cannot sit here and pretend that I am an expert on relationships or human psyche when it comes to love and sex. However, I have had my fair share of serious relationships and a whole bunch of experience with the “single life”. Therefore, there are a few things I have learned over the years that I believe we can all apply to this part of our lives if you haven’t already.

Personally, sex has always been an interesting subject; starting in grade eight where I would start to grab every piece of literature I could to learn as much as I could before being “thrown into the lions den” so to speak. But as I have come to understand, unfortunately, the decisions one will make when it comes to sex, love and the science of relationships is based on a history of trial and error. Sure, one can look into and research the vast amount of material available to us on the subject, but just as with the rest of life, nothing will teach a person more than explicit experience itself. Granted, I have not been around a very long time and a quarter of a century can only limit someone such as myself to so much intimate experience in this field while remaining “respectable”. However, there are things I have personally learned in my sex life that I believe are worth sharing with my peers.

To begin, sex has been put on such a pedestal in North America that it has become as feared as it is loved. Sex is a natural part of life that people, for the most part, attribute positive feelings towards. In all honesty, as long as mutual respect takes precedence, I do not hold a double-standard when it comes to men and women who enjoy sex. It would take a lot for me to call a girl a “slut” and sadly, I believe women themselves are their own worst critics for this. Thankfully, sex between peers in my social circle has been quite prevalent for a while now and there has been an ever-growing relaxed attitude towards it, spotted every so often with some occasional drama; c'est la vie. So what is good sex all about?

To me, good sex is about passion, variety, communication and the desire to please all parties involved; all things everyone has within them or are capable of learning. Which transitions nicely to my first point, the desire to learn. No one is good at sex right off the bat and we are usually reminded of that after the first encounter with a new partner. So how does one start learning about (excuse the pun) the ins and outs of good sex? It starts with the individual and the ability to “satisfy” oneself. Men, women and everyone in between, if one cannot satisfy themselves or just refuse to participate in such acts, odds are that person’s significant other is going to have a hell of a time trying to. To learn what it takes to get us where we want to go and to have the ability to share that knowledge with a significant other, is the first key to great sex.

The art of learning personal erogenous zones or how they like to be stimulated cannot end with the individual self. As I can best testify from the male perspective, men have to fully understand that women are their greatest ally when it comes to pleasing the complexity of the female form and no one else could explain it better. Whether that means putting down the Maxim and picking up a Cosmo (I love when you girl-friends of mine have the UK edition by the way) or simply asking detailed questions to a trusted girl-friend, the more information the better so gentleman keep your eyes open, ears tuned and pay attention.

When it comes to variety, spontaneity and location are two concepts easy enough to grasp so showing a discrepancy in these two aspects is a good start. When it comes to the act of having sex itself, learning interesting positions and techniques is as easy to reference as turning on a computer screen. The Internet and porn is an encyclopaedia of positions and moves that will only broaden one’s repertoire in the bedroom (time to get over porn all you prudes out there, its here to stay so you might as well makes some use of it!). As for communication, if one does not ask, one will never get. Communicating to each other what is being sought after intimately is a must but is simple as that; simply talking about one’s desires is usually the easiest way to receive them. Great sex is not limited to the casual and I would argue the exact opposite. Relationship sex can be some of the most phenomenal sex one will ever experience and it is not hard to see why the potential is so strong.

A long, loving relationship can produce some of the best and craziest sex one will experience in their lifetime. An atmosphere of trust and intimate knowledge of a significant other’s desires are the base ingredients for a recipe of unrivaled sex, assuming both people are on the same page sexually. Great sex between long-term partners is part of the foundation for successful relationships unless of course, the couple has chosen total abstinence (if that’s the case I can’t believe you’ve read this far). Again, as I can only testify from a male perspective, I believe men are relatively simple when it comes to being completely sexually satisfied by their significant other.

Basically it boils down to this: for lack of a better source, I have to quote the great Ludacris as men want “A lady in the street but a freak in the bed”. In other words ladies, men want to worship you as their sex goddess but it’s up to you to slay them. My best advice? I’m sorry I have to refer back to porn but I’ll legitimize it I promise. Ever noticed how most porn is the same? I mean, sure it varies when you get into the details but most scenes are structured similarly. The point is, men as a gender are not complicated to figure out when it comes to what does it for them sexually. Take the most popular porn stars or scenes in the word, learn their patterns and techniques, and –without hurting yourself of course- implicate them in your relationship. If any of you girlfriends/wives/life-partners/etc take this advice literally and any guy shuns you for it, you break up with him on the spot because rest assured you are going to make your next man one of the luckiest around; he’ll show you that he knows it too and his Internet browser’s history will never have looked so clean. When it comes to your own pleasure ladies, ask and ye shall receive, but you should know that by now. Oh, and if a guy doesn’t step up and reciprocate the “favours” you give –sorry boys- but he’s not worth it.

So that’s it, my science behind good sex. To reiterate, passion, variety, communication and the desire to please all parties; a theory I stand by and I think we can all agree upon. In the end, good sex is something that is attainable by all with the right mindset; one doesn’t have to be an expert on the subject or be the next adult entertainment superstar, but it doesn’t hurt to act like it once in a while.


Giving Sue Johanson a run for her money,

Matias M. Barchman

The Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games: The Inspiration for a Better GVRD

I write this latest entry literally still spinning from what was an epic last day and night of the 2010 Winter Olympics. A day that started well before noon as Canadians around the world prepared themselves for a climactic hockey game and the post-game party that was sure to happen, win or lose (it was simply much better for society that we won as a loss would have put the ’94 “public gathering” to shame). Throughout these Olympics, I have had friends ask me when I was going to post my thoughts about the games on here but I was skeptical that I would even do so considering the vast amount of media coverage we have had to sort through. However, after last night and getting a chance to reflect on the memories, photos and stories, it certainly did not leave me with a lack of inspiration.

What I believe to be the most overwhelming notion when it came to Vancouver 2010, was how it changed the public’s attitude it held toward each other, possibly forever. At no other time could we see the comradery, friendship and love people had for their country and their fellow countrymen. At a time where Vancouver and its surrounding neighborhoods seemed laden with criminal problems, violence, gangs, shootings, etc, it seemed society took a complete 180 degree turn in the other direction. Now, it would be naive to think that this was simply because people decided they wanted to behave well; a 900 million dollar security budget and the bright neon-yellow vests of the massive VPD presence made sure the public felt as safe as possible walking downtown Vancouver well into the night. With safety no longer an issue in people’s minds, the public was free to roam the streets of Vancouver in a realm of positivity and my-oh-my was it contagious.

National pride was merely the excuse people needed to have a great time with one another, friends and strangers alike. Actions and attitudes of abnormal positivity were at the heart of the celebration and it was something the public wished it could express year-round. Displays of kindness and fellowship from a public who is otherwise quite passive, was so heartwarming that one would have to make a preemptive decision if they did not want to enjoy themselves. Vancouver 2010 showed people the utopian society local resident’s only dream of living in and more importantly, it showed how much good the community is capable of.

Now, what we as a people need to take from the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games is this awe-inspiring positive feeling and run with it. The optimism we displayed in our lives for the past two weeks is the next step this great city and its surrounding district needs to take in its overall mind-set. The longer we hold onto this attitude towards ourselves and the place we live will only mean a better future for all of us. In the end and whether we think so or not, the public is the final voice when it comes to the type of life we wish to live. What I am alluding to is if we continue to hold onto these positive feelings for each other, it will only work to see our lives get better in all perspectives. It is feelings like these that lead to a society where the person is always put first before everything else, selfishness becomes taboo, and strangers are simply unacquainted friends.

The Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games may have been the party of the century thus far, but it will hopefully been seen as the occasion we as a people used to consciously decide to even further improve on the admirable attitude we are currently known for.


With a glowing heart and seeing the rise of a better GVRD,

Matias M. Barchman

Generation Y? More like Generation N: Physically living up to the standards of society's most narcissistic generation

Today’s generation of adolescents and young adults have set the new standard for self-inflated egos everywhere. No other generation has come close to the amount of effort it takes to have the perfect body. Today’s middle to upper-class society is one driven by a notion that to look perfect is to be perfect and that a lack of effort on one’s physical appearance is as much of a faux pas as wearing sandals with socks (I’m sorry to all you sandal-sock practitioners out there but you just shouldn’t do that). At one point or another, all of us in this demographic have been caught up in the hype of what it means to be considered above average looking and this hype has unfortunately created a notion where becoming above average is as simple as having a certain body type.

I clearly remember the phase I went through when I decided to keep up with the images of perfection that are constantly reiterated through the varied mediums we encounter throughout the day. It was right after the first summer where I landed a full time unionized job and therefore I had a lot of cash with nothing to spend it on. As I’m sure many of you can testify about your first well-paying job, I spent the money on my car, food and partying. By the end of the summer I was the heaviest I had ever been in my life and decided I needed a big change. Now, this isn’t to say people bugged me, or anyone pressured me to change; I was actually performing well in sport because of my ability to physically handle the competition on the lacrosse floor and the opposite sex still gave me the same attention as before. However, as I fell victim to our generation’s expectations of perfection, my decision was purely based on wanting to physically become as close to that expectation as possible.

Having an athletic background only hastened the journey to my goal, as in the end, I credit the change I made to the dedication to a program; probably the most difficult aspect of any physical/fitness goal. After months of training five, sometimes six days a week, making myself terrified of consuming carbs, and judging my progress in the mirror, not on performance or health, I had never looked fitter in my life. However (and this is a big however), reality set in to the cost of what it takes to have the body that every fitness salesman says could be yours with little effort.

After shedding all the weight and becoming the apparent fitness spokesman I looked like, I arrived at next year’s lacrosse try-outs appearing ready to run circles around my fellow competitors. I learned quickly that this would not be the case. As I had become so concerned with my looks as apposed to my performance, I had literally trained myself to perform worse and the first few days of try-outs were pure agony; a terrible diet and incorrect training regime had me on the brink of unconsciousness at times and I was constantly sick to my stomach. Let this story be a lesson to all that one can essentially become the epitome of physical perfection relatively easily, however, one best be prepared for that commitment to basically effect every aspect of their life.

Since that point I have (physically and professionally) learned a lot about my body and have come to understand that what is “perfect” in the eyes of society is usually not the case for the individual. I understand now that physically resembling the standard of the faultless bodies we as a generation have come to think of as perfect, has more to do with genetics than how much you hit the gym. Case in point, plastic surgery, steroids, fitness supplements, tanning salons, etc., all work to try to change what most people were simply not born to look like and usually results in those unnatural looks being physically obvious. I have personally concluded that being physically and mentally healthy outweighs having the picture perfect look ten-fold.

By now, some of you are probably saying, “this is old news, why did you just waste my time writing this garbage?” Well, it is important for our generation to start hearing that perfection is found within ourselves not what we are told and that perfection ALWAYS looks different. In the end this is the message I wanted to express: although all of us are at the mercy of our peers, no one can fault someone who is physically and mentally healthy, therefore this should be everyone’s goal when trying to become the person they have always wanted to be. Furthermore, as physical and mental health go hand in hand, they should compliment each other, not be adversaries. Over-stressing about physical demeanor only leads to an excess of mental anxiety and making poor decisions; if you don’t believe that, ask Heidi Montag or the cast of the Jersey Shore.

Demanding perfection in oneself is not a negative outlook on life but one must know that individual perfection is not necessarily designated by the masses. We live in a generation whose physical expectations have come to exceed the natural limitations of the average person. That being said, if you are one of the people striving to become everyone’s dream of physical perfection, well, I wish you good luck sir or madam, because you are going to need it. However, if your goal is to be physically healthy and keep a good, confident head on your shoulders, you should already be commended.


Content with his lack of abs,

Matias M. Barchman

Super Bowl Sunday aka “World America Day Featuring Football”

The Super Bowl is as much of a holiday as any other; you just don’t get paid double for working it (those of you in the service industry can appreciate that). The Super Bowl is the celebration of everything wonderful about being American. At its epicenter, is a sport unquestionably dominated by the country of its origin that involves the arguably most athletic people in the world. A sport that combines the in-depth strategy of a chess match with impacts that rival car accidents; a truly American sport. Super Bowl Sunday is America’s way to celebrate football but in reality, the football played has taken a back seat to America’s –and therefore the world’s- need to celebrate America. To state the obvious, I got this notion this Super Bowl Sunday and as a Canadian who’s not really that keen on American football, I believe I provide a decently omniscient view of the holiday. Saying that, I’m not implying that I have not participated in its celebration for years.

To begin, from a media standpoint, Super Bowl Sunday is the moneymaker. As it is hyped up almost above and beyond people’s excitement by America’s superlative media system, viewership is going to directly cause the exchange of millions if not billions of dollars and consequently becomes the American media’s time to shine. The way the Super Bowl is experienced through an American television feed can arguably rival being at the event itself. Although attending would be an incredible experience, the media presentation of the Super Bowl offers everything the game delivers with the angles and perspectives that simply can’t be seen or heard without a television. Presenters make sure they have done everything in their power to keep their viewers entertained, even going the extra mile by employing some of the best performers in the world to keep onlookers amused while they wait for the players to rest; hell, they even make the commercials funny. So right off the bat, we have a holiday that celebrates American Capitalism and its unparalleled media… sounds like we’re on the right track. The entire celebration is not relegated to a media presentation however; how one is generally supposed to enjoy that presentation is just as important.

Traditionally, the celebration of Super Bowl Sunday involves being a sports-nut for a day and connoisseur of the finest American cuisine. No matter how small or large the celebration, these two dynamics are ever apparent throughout the day. The Super Bowl is another celebration of a successful American athletic system that has a presence in almost every sport imaginable and a fan-base to match.

This Super Bowl Sunday, throughout the venues I attended, supporters were dawning their finest athletic attire, mostly made up of the NFL jerseys of the two teams vying for championship. Mostly. As the Super Bowl has become more of a celebration of American sport in general, NFL jerseys ranging from a variety of teams could be seen and I even encountered jerseys from sports not even being highlighted this day (I can’t begin to explain how much of a faux pas it is to wear a jersey unrelated to the sport event one is celebrating, but it had to be mentioned). The Super Bowl celebration can bring out the sports fan in even the least of sport-savvy people because it is a general social consensus that this particular Sunday is dedicated to enjoying the American ideology of sport. With the majority of people gathering to view the Super Bowl Sunday television extravaganza in their best athletic attire and mindset, we can go on to discuss a characteristic of the celebration that highlights the American culture at its best; the food.

The food consumed on Super Bowl Sunday is just as important as dinner on Thanksgiving or Christmas. Super Bowl Sunday is the second largest food-consumption day of the year (following Thanksgiving). Furthermore, it is undoubtedly American in nature. Just as eating turkey is synonymous with celebrating the aforementioned holidays, the general food choices during Super Bowl Sunday are similarly constant. A quick internet search reveals some of the daunting food consumption facts for the United States:

Pounds of potato chips consumed on Super Bowl Sunday = 11 million
Pounds of tortilla chips = 8.2 million
Pounds of popcorn = 3.8 million
Percentage increase in sales of frozen shrimp = 29 percent
Amount of money spent on soft drinks at grocery stores during the entire Super Bowl week = $237.2 million
Calories consumed by the average Super Bowl watcher = 1,200
Increase in sales of flavored snack crackers = 68 percent
Number of pizzas Pizza Hut expects to prepare on Super Bowl Sunday= 2 million
Pounds of snack food Americans gobble down on Super Bowl Sunday = 30.4 million (2x the average daily amount)

(Source: http://www.nubella.com/content/view/1530/)

One must be sure to note that these statistics are based on American figures alone and do not include additional audiences around the world.

If the overwhelming consumption of unhealthy food is not profoundly an American celebration concept in itself, the specific foods that are so massively consumed make it so. As snack and fast foods are the most prominent in America, no celebration of the American culture could be complete without them. Super Bowl Sunday becomes a day where viewers around the world can indulge in American food culture without having their conscious’s feel guilty about it. Further attention could also be drawn to beer/alcohol consumption during Super Bowl Sunday -additional sales of beer goes into the tens of millions- however, binge drinking to celebrate something is essentially a global concept.

Super Bowl Sunday, a spectacle that generates an unprecedented amount of capital, is presented by the greatest media conglomerate in the world, and globally celebrates American sport and culture. As per usual, I take a full political stance on the matter. This entry is not looking to come down on American culture or how it celebrates itself as a nation; but simply a way to call attention to how Super Bowl Sunday has become more than just a day highlighting the championship of one of the toughest sports in the world. “World America Day Featuring Football” is well on its way to becoming an official holiday. Although the majority of the working world has Sunday to themselves, all you Super Bowl viewers out there can agree that having “Super Monday” off would work wonders for your American-style hangover. Football! America! F*** ya.

Dreaming of one day celebrating a “World Canada Day Featuring Hockey”,

Matias M. Barchman

Bar Star vs Pub Loyalist: Where I stand

Many of my friends and I love our pubs and bars. Thusly, we are not to be confused with the bar-stars of the club scene. This entry was inspired by the debate between the bar-star or club hopper versus the pub loyalist.


I have been an avid party go’er since the days of cake and loot-bags. Nothing excites me more then a bunch of friends with same mentality to have a great time and create some memories to look back and laugh on. However, as we all have to grow up in life, partying shifted from the house, park, parking lot, field, etc, to the bar and other establishments that legally sold beverages without the threat of the cops putting a kibosh on the whole shebang.

Like many of my friends in the same age range, I was introduced to the bar scene quite early in my life. The days before dealing with ID scanners and where the simplest of drivers license modifications, along with an uncanny ability to grow some hefty sideburns, allowed one to slip past security with relative ease. The bar scene was a learning experience from the get go. No longer were you at a venue where you might have known more than half the people or at least was connected to the majority in some way or another; at such a young age, a bar merely provided somewhere where you and friends of age, or friends lucky enough to have slipped in with you, could find a secluded corner and drink together all the while glancing around at the talent the opposite sex provided (not that you had a chance anyways but you were still too naive to know that). The bar, club or pub, taught you that partying would no longer be cheap, the best company derives from the friends that you attend with and to always prepare for the worst. Over the years, it is safe to say these lessons are some that can be applied to any drinking establishment. However, as the locations frequented would become more diverse as you grew in age, a clear distinction could be made between the particular “scenes” that make up your local nightlife.

I can’t particularly pinpoint my first club experience but I do know that after a while, they all blended into a general feeling towards them. Vancouver’s club scene, from my perception, was… interesting. Being in a city where people are used to thinking they are the “shit” because we are constantly told how great it is to live here, etc, you can find a direct link between that notion and the feeling in any of the major clubs downtown or in the surrounding areas. Not being a character to judge first and experience later, I have attended clubs on and off with friends throughout the years even giving some numerous chances to impress me. Saying that, I’m going to try my best at describing an average night out at a club from the perspective of a guy like myself:

Going to a club usually requires a dress code; collared shirt, no runners and nicer jeans are usually the go-to’s for gentleman (or at least that’s how they want to be perceived) attending. Although dressing up has never been a problem for me, dressing for a club has always made me feel like someone I’m not; as if one has to put on a show to prove their place in the social hierarchy. When you finally show up to the club, you are quick to realize that every guy is dressed the same with a few variances to differ themselves from the dude next to them. You learn to quickly shrug this off as a necessity because this is a “classy” venue you’re about to attend so you should look the part of how you, and those around you, are the “shit”. After waiting in line for the seemingly endless wave of assholes that get in before you, your groups enters the club and scopes out a place to settle as a “home base”, so to speak. The club itself, although doing its best to be perceived as classy, is really just like any other bar but with varied seating, colour schemes and lighting setups. Half your group ventures off to acquire drinks for the rest, while the remaining hold the fort and begin the ancient art of people watching. After buying a round or two of ridiculously priced and weak tasting high-balls (because no one drinks beer at the club), you decide its time for some loser-laps and begin to contemplate dancing. A few more glasses of liquid courage and lack of fun finally builds you up enough to try your hand at the flood of people who have engulfed the top 40 dance floor. You head out with a buddy and a smile in hopes of finding a partner to get down to the beat with and make the evening compete with the pace of your drinking. Here’s where you learn another valuable lesson in Vancouver’s club scene; when you ask a random girl to dance, not only are you asking her to get her groove on, but apparently this also means “and by dance, of course I mean have sex tonight”. The defensive stance of women in Metro Vancouver is easily observed at this point but that concept is a blog entry all on its own. You finally duck and weave your way out of the hoard of awkwardly grinding bodies and decide its time to take your aggression out with a few shots and let the night take care of itself. This, unfortunately, usually ends with one becoming much too drunk, making some stupid decisions in the form of random hook-ups, inducing vomiting, terrible food-choices and/or a lack of a ride home.

This experience could be argued to be the same at any nightlife establishment, not just pertaining to Vancouver’s club scene. However, the major difference between the club and pub is the concept of expectations meeting outcome. Club’s are so riddled with hype, starting from the moment you undo the top button of your collared shirt, that ego replaces fun as a priority; therefore, a battle for who is perceived as the “coolest” (or douchiest depending on your perspective) takes precedence. People going to clubs show up with expectations of partying like a rock star and that’s exactly how they act. Regrettably, rock stars or partying celebrities are some of societies most egocentric and narcissistic members and the club is another outlet displaying their ridiculous influence over us.

Finally we can discuss why the pub is a much friendlier approach to nightlife. When one prepares for a night out at the pub, personal expectations are lower because the pub provides a much more forgiving atmosphere. Dress code no longer becomes an issue and for the most part, people are truly able to express themselves through their clothing without having to resort to bells and whistles. This attitude carries across the board while one is a patron at a pub. Food being served until late, larger seating areas, live music and smaller but spirit filled dance floors present a down-to-earth mentality; a mentality that prioritizes inclusivity not exclusivity and where one’s desire to befriend an entire bar is prized over their ability to be better than the person next to them.

In the end, this entry boils down to what type of person you are. The experience I have described, although not necessarily applicable to the masses, seemed to be more or less the same for a majority of the social circle I am incorporated with. Furthermore, this is not an entry putting down those who frequent the club and have acquired “bar-star” status by their peers, because I know and call many of you friends. Hopefully this will simply provide some insight as to why your friend preemptively canceled on plans to go hit the freshest club downtown.


Keeping his collar down and pint glass full,

Matias M. Barchman

The Vancouver Canucks and their Bandwagon Fan Base: An explanation of a love-hate relationship

Vancouver Canuck fans are notoriously known for their “bandwagon” status by those on the outside looking in. I, for one, will gladly admit to being one of those diehard bandwagoners. For those of you who know me personally, I don’t think there is any question about my support for any of our hometown sports teams in Metro Vancouver, let alone the Canucks. However, I think I can provide some insight into the bandwagon phenomena and even as to why it’s justified.

The Vancouver Canucks were established 40 years ago as an official NHL team in 1970. However, professional hockey had become well established in Vancouver and the west coast since the Vancouver Millionaires won the Stanley Cup back in 1915. Hockey in Vancouver was, and remains, just as Canadian as it is back in the eastern provinces; citizens of western Canada pride themselves on their country’s national identity and have provided an array of teams that proved that. The Vancouver Canucks would become one of these teams and they continue to have an excellent fan base established in the Lower Mainland, even extending out across Canada. Although local Canuck supporters currently provide one of the best venues to play in -having accomplished 290 consecutive sellouts at General Motors Place starting back on November 14, 2002- we are probably one of the most difficult crowds to please. Canuck fans willingly let their team know when they are displeased and a bad loss or poor effort is almost always greeted with a torrent of boos and jeers against their hometown team.

I recall going to a game a couple years ago accompanied by a friend from Ontario who is as big of an annoying Toronto Maple Leafs fan as they come. The Canucks were playing against Nashville so as a loyal migrant to the west coast, she was happy to cheer on our boys in blue and green. The game was anticipated to be in favor of a Canucks victory but this prediction –about as accurate as a Vancouver weather forecast- would prove just as disappointing. By the third period, the Canucks were down 4-1 and a lackluster effort was felt by the fans from the Vancouver players. It wasn’t long before the crowd let their team know just exactly how displeased they were and even went to the extent of cheering on the visiting Predators at one point That’s right, Vancouver fans are just as coordinated to spite their team as they are to motivate them. My company for the evening couldn’t believe the experience she was having as it was like nothing she had encountered attending many Maple Leafs games back home. That was when I had to explain the situation in Vancouver, the overall feeling where winning and a consistently elevated level of effort are held to a much higher standard than most cities in North America.

So why are Canuck fans so hard to please? Well, in a nutshell, after 40 years and only two Stanley Cup Final appearances, Vancouver fans are only willing to accept a heart-filled post-season run as success. You don’t have to take my word for it, just watch the change in atmosphere when the Canucks accomplish a playoff bid. The majority of fans in Vancouver will go with their home team as the front contender for Lord Stanley’s mug no matter what terrible or superb odds the experts iterate. Nonetheless, if the Canucks bow out of playoffs early or do not make the cut altogether, Vancouverites will scream revolution demanding someone pay the price with their job for another frustrating season.

In the end, the final question is: Are Canuck fans justified in holding such a high standard for their team resulting in a pressure for success that is unrivaled by their peers? Simply put, yes, they are. Let’s break it down for those of you who may still be on the fence:

First, the Canucks are one of six Canadian teams in the 30-team NHL; as disgusting of a fact as that is, considering Canada is the front runner for hockey talent in the world, that just goes to show how much fan support these teams have concentrated behind them. Subsequently, this unwavering support is translated into money as we must remember that the NHL is a business in the end and the amount of money a team has usually translates to their success or visa versa. Money is obviously not a big issue in Vancouver as sell-out crowds, sponsorship, merchandising and the ability to sign semi-retired superstars to play out their less than fruitful last games as a NHL player, seem to reflect that we have the funds to pay for the team we need. So, we have the support, the money and it has undoubtedly been the case for at least the past eight years. Now, comparatively, let’s look at the Canuck’s record for the past 10 seasons (we can’t keep holding on to that 93-94 run although it was the best run EVER): Three division titles (‘04, ’07, ’09), two seasons without a playoff appearance (’06 and ’08) and at best, an inability to move on from the division semi-final (overall quarter final in the NHL playoffs). Any NHL expert would have to agree that 10 years, never mind 40, would be more than ample time to develop a Stanley Cup winning team with the resources the Canucks and Vancouver have at hand. Yet, Canuck fans across the globe continue to patiently wait for that banner to be raised at GM Place.

Conclusively, not all aspects of the Canucks problems have been covered in this lengthy blog entry but from a fan’s perspective I don’t believe that all were necessary. From our viewpoint, we are indisputably justified with our bandwagon status; for as much as we have invested in our NHL team, the payout has been less than satisfying with the exception of a few seasons. Now, with all that being said, as apart of the diehard bandwagon Canuck devotees, if one asked me who my front runner for a Stanley Cup victory is this season, well, it’s Vancouver of course. Just be sure not to take that steadfast devotion as a sign of satisfaction; as easy as it is to hop on the bandwagon, the same goes for jumping off. Dissatisfaction with the Canucks can and has seen Vancouver give a colder shoulder to the team than the ice the players skate on. However, when the Canucks have a winning season, make the playoffs and ensuingly have a respectable run in them; the decibel level, towel power, and the support of millions will reassure the players of the foundation their fans provide for them to finish the job.

It has been 95 years since the Stanley Cup was raised in Vancouver and that is a statistic every Canuck fan should be aware of. Whether or not you believe that number to reflect the reality of the situation, it is a fact nonetheless and not something for a Canadian city as prestigious as Vancouver to be proud of. Although it’s fair to say we should not dwell on the past, it should forever be a reminder to Canuck personnel that their city is overdue and deserving of Lord Stanley’s Cup; any result that does not provide or come close is unacceptable.

Chanting “Go Canucks Go!” but only when they’re winning,

Matias M. Barchman

The Weekend Ends On Monday

This was inspired by a true notion in the shower and especially goes out to you 9-5ers (or close to it):

If you think about it, the weekend really ends on Monday night. Since Friday and Saturday are so filled with the fun and adventure you crave all week, Sunday becomes a struggle to get even the most simplest of tasks accomplished. I don't care if you party or not, Sunday was designed for the goodness of unproductivity to prevail. Then, as if you weren't expecting it, Monday happens.

Reality eventually sets in as you wake to the alarm clock after glancing at it repeatedly during the night not wanting to believe your wake up call was ever the more nearer. You drag yourself out of bed and try to gather your thoughts as you pray a shower will get your senses focused. You shower, but it doesn't take. You were only able to get through to that first layer of weekend's resin but didn't have time to get to the second. Although the shower helps, you're by no means as chipper as a spring daisy, that's for sure. You make it to a quick breakfast and thank the man who invented caffeine. Begin the commute to work. Traffic is terrible! Weird. Transit is late! You're shittin' me. WORK. (Everyone knows work sucks on Monday, I don't care if you're the lotion guy on a Hawiian Tropic bikini tour). Work is over, one more terrible commute, get home. How good does home look? Do something half-productive at home because you spent most of Monday not really accomplishing much at work. Eat a decent meal and bed time just begins to whisper to you. Hold on. Something doesn't feel right. You still feel that last layer of the weekend that permeates your skin and now Monday has left a bad taste in your mouth. Second shower that day but wow was it worth it. Jump into bed. Of course by bed I mean utopia of softness and support unrivaled by anything in your known world. Doze. Doze. Sleep.

Who says weekends are free? Monday is the cost and therefore deserves the same title.


Heading off to his utopia,

Matias M. Barchman

Self-branding and today's image of "professional"

For the past month or so, I have had the opportunity to work closely with Mike Brascia, a well-knowledged, men's fashion consultant who has been in the industry for over 33 years. Conveniently, especially for the purposes of this blog, he is also my father so taking time out of work to rant about the status of fashion and self-image didn't take much. The motivation for this post came from a discussion we had about how specifically men in general have lost a priority towards a dapper self-image in lieu of casual dress and demeanor.

To begin, I would categorize myself as being drawn towards the latter of those two sides as I believe I am a product of the society I grew up in. One would think that having a father with such fashion sense and a wardrobe to match would only have me appreciate the value I put towards dressing classy; however my personality has always struggled to find the right time and place to fully take advantage of essentially having the closet most men can only dream of. Which brings us back to the original question: Why have things changed so drastically? Why, instead of the formal suit-and-tie business fashion that was so prevalent in the past, are we seeing more jeans and t-shirts accompanied by the odd blazer? I sat down with Dad, whoops, I mean Mike, and picked his brain a bit.

"When I first got into this business thirty years ago, there is no way you would see the people dressed the way they are [downtown]." When I prodded further, he continued, "...never mind downtown, even people going out for special occasions, weddings, church on Sundays, etc... people are just not worried about their self-image like they used to be." As I took in what he was saying I reflected on my own fashion habits and how I thought to myself that I have more in common with those people in that perspective than I did my own father! It's at this time I should mention that during the interview he stopped to give me a hard time about how my attire (I was wearing slacks and a shirt) was directly hurting his business or at least wasn't helping it (he was in full suit-and-tie, as always).

As the interview continued it became clear that the issue is that a person who dresses well can come off as dressing "too well" and it being unnecessary or intimidating. "Customer's walk in and explain that they are dressed too well for their job... the most common excuse is that because their job does not entail dealing with the public directly, they don't have to look good. Another is that if the person is in a management position, dressing well may come as 'over the top' and employees may be too intimidated to approach the boss. I think that's [crap]." I didn't need to say much by this time as you could tell he was on a roll. "What do they say? 'You only get one chance to make a first impression', well, you better believe that's true... Even though you may not be dealing with the public directly or feel that you're not in a position to have to dress the part, you are constantly projecting a self-image, a brand, that people are going to judge you on. Image is extremely important, I don't care who you are." I began to feel worse and worse about not having a tie and jacket on as he talked, but then I remembered he's my father, he's supposed to do that to me.

What can I say? Even though he might have not convinced me to give up my daily ensemble of jeans and a t-shirt, he had me thinking about what it means to brand oneself a professional in the eyes of the masses. Yes, it's true that business attire today has become more relaxed and I believe the emphasis has shifted further from how an individual looks to the output they provide. However, as the professional business world becomes more competitive, the advantage of a high-end and classy attire is undeniable. "I've never seen anyone kicked out of somewhere or fired for being overdressed, but you always hear about the guy being asked to leave because he looks like a schmuck."

Well Pops, my 'schmuck' attire is going to continue to be at the core of who I am and the personality I reflect, but do you think I can borrow a tie and jacket for the rest of the day?

Finally looking the part,

Matias M. Barchman

Who am I and why should you care?

Good question and I'm going to be honest with you from the get-go. The main reason this blog was created was for me to have a place to reference my writing, and have a venue to express opinions of my own accord; commentary about anything and everything. I can't really say I'm an expert on one subject, but the best way to describe my background is knowing a little about about a variety. My plan is to provide an interesting perspective about some issues, events, general subject matter, etc, and see where it goes from there. Other than that, I'm not completely sure what that is going to entail for future posts but I hope that they will provide my readers looking for an domain to pass the time during the more boring parts of the day.

As for my personal life, I spent the majority of it as a student-athlete and employee of some of the most random places one can work. My resume is littered with contingent accolades and qualifications that are so dissociated with one another I must look like I give the most indecisive people a run for their money. Truthfully, I attribute my working background to school and sport taking precedence in my life. However when it comes to the real world, I have learned the hard way that unless you have a doctorate or you are the next up and coming superstar, that those priorities you poured your heart and soul into for years -for lack of a better term- mean jack shit. Don't get me wrong I understand that an education is very important and there are invaluable lessons one can attain from the sporting world but in the end, as we live in a monetary society, your value is based on how much money you can make the guy who has already gone through the same tough times you are struggling with.

Which brings us full circle and back to the beginning. Commentary for the sake of commentary and an outlet to display what I hope is a writing style slightly askew of the disarray of millions of blogs scattered throughout the web. Because in the end that is what it's all about: who you are, why you're different and why that matters.

Signing off from his first official blog entry ever,

Matias M. Barchman